Date:12/2/2022-12/4/2022
Destination: Charlotte, North Carolina
Goal: Carowinds
Distance: 376 Miles
Means of Travel: Driving
Potential Credits: 0
It’s the season of joy, cold weather, giving, and rampant commercialism! The most joyous time of the year for normal people, and for us thoosies outside of Florida (or California...or Texas...or the Carolinas...or Virginia, fuck the offseason is really going away isn't it?), the bittersweet winter season in which we're trying to juice every last bit of coaster action out of the year before freezing our ninnies and turkums off waiting for a nice warm day over twenty degrees. Usually I try to take one last yeehaw around November/December, and my bro Ben invited me to do Carowinds, so with Fury 325 being open since Charlotte is now year round park climate, this was a no-brainer. I was heading back to Carowinds!
This is a park I've been visiting a surprisingly long time, if you really think about it. This was in the family vacation park rotation, and we went in 2005, 2009, and 2011 as a family before I went on my own trips in 2015 and 2019. And through the years, it's probably the park with long term familiarity that's changed the most. As a kid, it was sort of a mini Kings Island where BORG Assimilator and Top Gun ran the show alongside your favorite Nickelodeon pals. But now, it's turned into one of the top parks in its chain with coasters I never would have imagined it getting in a million years as a fifth grader obsessed with roller coasters. Now it's going full Disney and staying open year round, there's a hotel in the parking lot, an expensive German engineered launcher with immersive theming, a hypercoaster going toe to toe with Kings Island's beloved Diamondback, and of course, the coaster with the tallest lift hill in the world that happens to be themed to one of my worst fears ever. Among these radical changes within the past two decades that I've seen, Winterfest is now in full swing in the Carolinas, and I'm gonna check it out!
There was a Coaster Crew event that Sunday, and I couldn't make that because I work a normal M-F job, but I could make the Saturday before, and Ben was doing the event so we decided to meet up in Charlotte and do that first day together, with me driving down and him flying up.
Day 0- Trucks and Carowinds Don't Mix
I went into work that day, same shit, got off at 4:30, and just my luck, trouble already started! The stretch immediately outside my work was a mess of traffic, with northbound crawling along at a snail's pace. I was told that both lanes of I-70 (which would not service this trip but was a major interstate through Dayton) had a semi fire and were blocked off, messing up traffic. Already off to a crazy start, considering last time I went to Carowinds I was stuck in traffic caused by an upturned semi in Charleston for hours, just great! So instead of just heading up and getting on the highway Waze had me navigate through town for a smidge before hopping on 35 to head east. I had planned to get gas as soon as I left work but I had to make it through Dayton and find a gas station in some little rural Ohio cow town, but I got some snacks and beer for the hotel while I was there so it was a worthwhile stop. Continued east pretty flawlessly until I got to my stop for the night: Charleston, West Virginia!
It isn't a Jarrett trip unless your life is in danger, so naturally, the stairs up to my hotel were sketchy as hell. I had to do that thing we learned in tai chi to keep weight on one foot until you're sure it's safe to step forward with the next one to ensure these stairs didn't break under my weight. You could feel the steps shift and tilt around and you can see in this photo one of the brackets was bent and busted.
Dinner was step two, so I headed up the street past West Virginia crackheads walking in the road with babby strollers and Christmas trees to get a whole box of greasy food for $9 (used to be $7, curse you inflation!) and stuff my face.
Who doesn't love stepping in toilet water in their socks!? I went to go shower, felt my socks get moist, and saw a bunch of water leaking out of my toilet around the base so I had to walk all the way around and use the elevator again to go tell the front desk that the conditions of pretty much everything in the hotel were unacceptable. Not like dirty unacceptable, but everything was broken to the point I could see it causing major problems. They were remodeling, but it never should have gotten to this point in my opinion. Regardless, they took down what I said, ensured I wouldn't be charged for the water damage, and said they'd probably just close that room after I got out of it in the morning and remodel it immediately. So I cracked open a cold one, played some Pokemon Violet, and went to sleep.
Day 1- Finding the CLT
I woke up after sleeping in a bit and did the lord's work and got myself my favorite West Virginia tradition: Tudor's Biscuit World!
Possibly the only good thing to come out of West Virginia, Tudor's Biscuit World is a regional breakfast chain found around WV primarily, though I know of a few in Ohio as close as Xenia. Gotta get the aptly named Politician, made with bologna of course.
(Random amusing Jarrett history fact: the first law school was in Bologna, Italy.)
So I went and got gas...and had to hold down the handle instead of flipping the little latch thing and leaving it. When I went inside and explained that the latch was missing, they said they remove them because people keep driving off with the nozzle still in their car, clicking it to pump and forgetting it's there. Good job, West Virginia. Good job.
I got on the highway, got the fuck out of West Virginia, bit my nails through Virginia as it's a police state (bastard with a Let's Go Brandon sticker thought it would be appropriate to pass me going ten over, I let him knowing you can get arrested for that shit there), and before I knew it I was in the Carolinas!
T'was a rainy morning in Appalachia, which at certain times of year back home can trigger my seasonal mold allergies. So I get into Charlotte, it had just rained, and I'm sneezing so violently I think I'm at risk to crash. But I fought through it, found the CLT, and Ben is waiting!
When Ben got me at PIE back in July he was blasting Cupcakke loudly, so I returned the favor with this but it ended prematurely because he was an ass and left the door open for all of Charlotte-Douglas to hear this. We're so mature.
(No, seriously, considering some of the people I deal with daily, that's still mature behavior compared to that shit.)
(No, seriously, considering some of the people I deal with daily, that's still mature behavior compared to that shit.)
There is also a Chipmunks version, in case you were wondering.
Next step was lunch, and sadly the really good German place in Charlotte was closed, so we went to my favorite other place in Charlotte: Azteca! And the game was on!
Azteca is fucking delicious. On my family's trip here in 2009, we'd been driving the seven hours to our hotel, we were tired, my sister mom and I went to the hotel pool while my dad went out to get food and he brought this back, so we sat poolside at a nice hotel eating the best shrimp enchiladas you'll ever have under a warm Carolina summer night sky. One of my favorite memories ever learning to travel as a child, and naturally, that sealed the deal that this is my ushe from there. So we watched eventual champions Argentina stomp Australia over some of the best Mexican food you'll get this side of the Rio Grande. Charlotte's got a pretty significant Mexican population for a city in that part of the world and those folks know how to feed people!
Onto the hotel, and we could see Carowinds on the drive. Fury, here I am!
Afterwards, Ben and I headed to the hotel to check in, where I rode the first coaster of the trip and got a credit: the hotel luggage trolley! (DISCLAIMER: Do not try this at home, or sue us if you do and it goes wrong. Travel's super expensive right now and I can't afford a lawyer.)
And with a break to switch from my trademark Hawaiian shirt to Iron Gwazi, we headed to Carowinds for some Winterfest action! Ben didn't remember them having a nice toll plaza like back at home at Kings Island, but I thought it had been there since Fury was built.
Fury, I missed you! I haven't seen this beautiful machine since the pandemic! Have you hugged your coaster today?
Our first stop is not even a question. Not my reigning favorite giga coaster, or favorite in the park, but the one I was just super excited to ride for some strange reason.
Fury 325 was my most anticipated coaster of the 2015 season. After I rode Leviathan in 2014 I said, "if that had been longer or played with the terrain, it would have been my number one." And along comes this beautiful coaster with a gorgeous color scheme and themed to something that actually scared me that does both! That summer it became my number one on the trip of a lifetime and while it had since lost both the number one title and the favorite giga title, it was a coaster I still very much liked. But since I last rode it, Orion had, contrary to popular opinion, slid into that spot, appealing to me as a sort of Fury that cuts the crap and has stronger airtime.
And that was worth the trip alone! Man, I forgot how awesome this thing is, but riding it and Orion in the same season, I clearly see how wrong I was! I maintain that Orion's got more, better airtime, particularly in the later half of its short layout, but Fury just goes HAM on the raw velocity game. You're booking it near 100 mph, you feel that, the cold winter wind makes sure you know that, and all in all it's just relentless from the pullout of the barrel turn to the stupid helix. Less airtime than I remember, which was one of the reasons it took a hit in 2019 when I last rode it, and I think it's a bit big and clunky to compete with something like an RMC or Intamin in the 2020s, but it's the Millennium Force of the south and that's not a bad thing at all in my eyes.
Wanting to experience the other Carowinds 1-2 punch, we headed across the state line to Copperhead Strike for my first ever night ride on it. And while the ride itself didn't have as much kick as I remembered (I think I was just more surprised by it than anything and that got it a higher ranking on my cards, especially being the first big ride of that season), Copperhead rocks at night! I had a comment on my content from my 2019 trip that I missed out not getting a night ride, saying "it feels exactly like a vehicular escape lit by only headlights," and it lived up to that description beautifully. You careen around these tight corners and only have a few feet of track in front of the train lit, it's absolutely beautiful.
As a child, I was so excited when we went to Carowinds as I was getting more comfortable with looping coasters, and it was all about BORG: Assimilator. And well, now it's not anymore, but this was our next ride. Now yellow and running as Nighthawk, this childhood favorite of mine sadly did not give the good ride I remembered. Towards the end of Firehawk's life I remember it had a really bad rattle especially near the end, but in Charlotte we were dealing with more of a grind. Like a low amplitude, high frequency vibration that was still enough to jar your brain.
Ben remembered Boo Blasters here being really good but it...wasn't. Like, at all. Worse than Kings Island's, most of the cardboard cutouts didn't even work. And idk how you break a cardboard cutout.
Carowinds was beautiful for Winterfest! Once the sun was gone and all the lights were in full glow, this simple-looking standard park gets pretty damn beautiful. Lots of the same lights Kings Island has, but I feel Carowinds incorporated the trees and other structures that weren't buildings well into their Winterfest getup.
And then it was clear for takeoff for my first ever night ride on Afterburn! Fighter jets have become a relatively new interest-ish of mine but I've always loved this coaster, it was a huge family favorite on the many childhood trips we'd take here. And at night it really hauls! The low light makes it even scarier because you know it really plays with the hillside and paths extremely well, but you can't see what's near you until you're shooting right by it. Definitely a top tier invert that can run with big dogs like Banshee and Montu.
What kind of quack puts duck on the menu at a theme park??? We went to Harmony Hall next for dinner and to my delight, there was duck on the menu. My favorite protein! I was expecting it to suck being a free piece of duck from a theme park dining plan, but it was actually pretty good. The cherry reduction they put with it is always a good choice for duck, and it was a little dry but far from inedible. Not exactly the duck I got in Paris, but I was just happy to see a theme park have it on their menu. Kings Island, you're up!
When the theme park duck doesn't sit well with you and they have to snake the toilet.
After a quick spin on Copperhead again, we went to find a spot for the parade. Now, Cedar Fair has really stepped up their parade game, adding well designed floats and original music to the acting caliber you see during events like Grand Carnivale and anniversary celebrations. The theme here was obviously Christmas, and while it wasn't earth-shattering, they did a good job with it all in all. Got the crowd involved in caroling, handed out candy canes, it's pretty much exactly what you'd imagine when you think of a Christmas parade. But it's cool they have it!
Santa wasn't too happy to see me, he's seen my memes I'm on the naughty list.
With a romp across the park only to get stopped by a second parade stop, we made a run to snag one final spin on Fury! And holy shit it was incredible, this ride alone solidified my choice to keep it ahead of Orion as king giga. Its shorter Ohioan cousin that everyone hates has better airtime, but Fury beats Orion at its own game of just going all velocity all the time, and aside from that stupid helix, it does better things with it. The Hive Dive into that green glowing tunnel as you're flying through the frigid air with the Charlotte skyline twinkling in the background is nothing short of incredible. (DUMBASS DISCLAIMER: This photo was taken outside of a low zone and I even asked a Carowinds associate if I was okay to be that close to the fences and was told it was fine. Stay where you fucking belong and don't fucking enter a fucking low zone like a fucking idiot.)
That summed up a short but incredible night at Carowinds and afterwards, we snagged our things and headed back to the hotel after quite an exhausting day, one that started in separate states and ended up at one of Cedar Fair's top dogs.
So...Carowinds at Christmas.
We have Winterfest back at home, Kings Island does it and it's beautiful, but it doesn't feel like main season, they aren't changing as much year to year anymore, and I don't feel the incentive to be there every weekend like I used to around Christmas. Maybe it's because I have more of a life outside of coasters now, maybe it's just not something meant to experience more than once. We have two coasters open and one of them sucks, but Carowinds had the best three coasters in the park open as well as plenty more rides, and it felt more like a normal operating day you'd just go to wanting to go to the park than a Winterfest night at Kings Island. Not to mention the warmer climate was a nice change of scenery, I'm used to freezing my ass off by the end of the night but I just walked around with my gloves in my backpack and my coat unzipped all night. I was a bit iffy on this and Kings Dominion going year round, but this made me feel like it might actually work and work well. Maybe not at Kings Island, but maybe at Carowinds. Or somewhere other than Ohio where the weather is trying to kill you for six months out of the year.
We have Winterfest back at home, Kings Island does it and it's beautiful, but it doesn't feel like main season, they aren't changing as much year to year anymore, and I don't feel the incentive to be there every weekend like I used to around Christmas. Maybe it's because I have more of a life outside of coasters now, maybe it's just not something meant to experience more than once. We have two coasters open and one of them sucks, but Carowinds had the best three coasters in the park open as well as plenty more rides, and it felt more like a normal operating day you'd just go to wanting to go to the park than a Winterfest night at Kings Island. Not to mention the warmer climate was a nice change of scenery, I'm used to freezing my ass off by the end of the night but I just walked around with my gloves in my backpack and my coat unzipped all night. I was a bit iffy on this and Kings Dominion going year round, but this made me feel like it might actually work and work well. Maybe not at Kings Island, but maybe at Carowinds. Or somewhere other than Ohio where the weather is trying to kill you for six months out of the year.
Day 2
Ben had a Coaster Crew event to get to that afternoon, I had work to get to Monday morning, so no Coaster Crew for me. We watched the start of the France FIFA game in the hotel room, grabbed Cook Out, and I headed out.
The drive home was awful. I mean, it's just seven hours, but it feels way longer when you're alone and when so much changes. I ended up in the HOV lane a few times getting out of Charlotte and got slapped with tolls listening to inaccurate Waze advice, and we all know how I like driving through Virginia, America's other police state. Virginia is for lovers. And stormtroopers on the highways with drones and shit. God forbid you go 7 over. But hey, listening to Spotify I fell for one of those podcast ads you hear and ended up listening to two of the Deathbed Confessions ones towards the tail end of it and that was really good! Nothing like a little sex, drugs, and murder in old school Hollywood to spice up a drive.
My folks came in clutch and had tried out a new Indian place and offered me their doggy bag when I was getting in since it was kind of late. Gulzar's curry is super spicy and is trying to kill you but my god it's delicious. Okay, I'm a wuss, but I did enjoy it in all seriousness.
What a great way to close out the season! Carowinds was nowhere near the cards for 2022 back in April when the season started, but I'm glad Ben and I threw this together so last minute and made it happen. I was definitely ready for an offseason, honestly 2022 wasn't the best season I've had for a number of reasons, both because of my own mental health and it just not being a good year to travel for anybody, but at least it ended on a high note somewhat.
Bring on 2023? Maybe? Possibly? I already got my Platinum Pass, might as well use it.
Bring on 2023? Maybe? Possibly? I already got my Platinum Pass, might as well use it.
