Iron Curtain 2026 Region Trip://Leg 0~HEYYY Krakowrena!

                  Date:4/25/2026-5/6/2026

Destination: Poland, Germany

Goal: Energylandia, Phantasialand, Europa Park, Poland Culture, Germany Culture

Distance: 4700 Miles

Means of Travel: Flying, Train, Tour Bus

Potential Credits: 40

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A pair of small, white apartments on the right with ornate roof decor, on the left a cathedral of red brick with two towers capped with ornate spires, the spire on the left features a golden crown and a pointed tower.

In a few days you will be in the land of your ancestors," read the text message from my grandmother. But unlike in 2022, she was not referring to France. No, that weekend, I was flying out to the place that set the stage for a much earlier part of my family's long, scattered European heritage: Poland. This was the choice not out of a massive desire to see a certain city or experience specific cultural elements, but rather, a few things here and there had made me want to go. WWII history, Energylandia, Wieliczka Salt Mine, and of course, any chance to try another country's culinary offerings.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A timber-framed German inn with several dormers, balconies, and a turret.

I invited my friend Drew, a buddy of mine who goes way back, and mentioned the plan. With LOT Polish Airlines exiting my beloved United codeshare, our best bet looked to be reaching Poland via Frankfurt through Lufthansa and/or United. Drew, like myself with the Polish heritage, has German heritage himself, and while he liked the Poland plan, talked more about our layover in Germany than he did anything in Poland. This gave me the idea to hella, hella extend our layover in Germany, cutting Legendia from the Poland roster and upgrading in its place with Europa Park and Phantasialand. Over New Year's Eve, we fired up Rhine River travel content and picked the sleepy winery town of Bacharach to set the stage for a rural German culture day. With us spending time on two very different halves of Europe with very different political histories, we dubbed the trip Iron Curtain 2026, as a chance to see how the different halves of Europe developed in the 80 years since the WWII things we were seeing.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Two men in their thirties drink coffee in an airport.

I did everything I could to sleep in like a lazy bum today, knowing I had not only a domestic and Transatlantic flight ahead of me, but another domestic after that! I got up, got ready, and had my mother drop me off at the airport where I waited on Drew.

And while waiting outside TSA, we had a guest in the form of a bird getting stuck in the airport! Fortunately, I told the nearby people at the Delta counter, who got airport services to come humanely let this little guy free.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Against DAY's tarmac and control towers, a hand holds a small plush panda.

My girlfriend Keely sometimes gives me cute little plushies, and the smaller ones often go on trips with me so I can send her photos of them traveling around the world. My accompaniment on this trip was Noodles, this little panda. Here he is ready to take to the skies from Dayton!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett pulls down a Survivor Buff to smile at the camera with a tall dinosaur skeleton in the background in Chicago O'Hare's B terminal, wearing a blue jersey that says "100 YEARS OF" and a United insignia.

After a very short flight to our first connection at Chicago O'Hare, we went on a quest to find the legendary Terminal Transfer Bus to the distant Terminal 5, where most of the international flag carriers do their work in the Windy City. We were told our first clue was basically to find the dinosaur, who was rocking the United 100th Anniversary jersey this time.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hand holds a green strip of paper reading "Prospect Airport Services Bus Transfer C" against Chicago O'Hare's tarmac and control tower out a bus window.

To get to Terminal 5, you take the escalator down from the B concourse, across the tunnel with trippy lights, and hang a right at the end before the escalator back up to find the bus station. Prospect will look at your passport, your boarding pass, and then give you a little piece of laminated paper. From there, it's about a 20 minute ride to the M gates.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Several airplane tails with art for Air France, Iberian, Cathay Pacific, Austrian Airlines, and LOT Polish Airlines.

Here we are, Terminal 5! Man, this was beautiful to see all these colorful and artistic tail arts in one place. And I see our ride! 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: People line up at a counter for Austrian Airlines OS46 to Vienna at Gate M24.

Picking a flight out was hell for this trip, both because of EES implementation and Lufthansa going on strike. Our third or fourth plan ended up with us on Austrian Airlines connecting through Vienna to get to Krakow, with a long 5 hour layover in the Austrian capital. With a quick document check on the ground, they put one of those little sticky page markers on our passports and sent us aboard!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Drew stands before the cabin door of a white Boeing 787 with red lettering on the fuselage.

Austrian Airlines, here we come! New airline for me, and second flag carrier.

And just like that, I think I have a new favorite airline! Oh my god, the seats were so comfortable and reclined so far, we were greeted to the friendly skies with "Vienna's favorite beer," as we were told, and they played Austrian waltz music during boarding. This is the way to fly! You can't fly directly there from the states, get Vienna to get you a lift!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett and Drew toast Ottakringer beer cans across the aisle.

Prost! Welcome to the skies, we've got about eight and a half hours to Vienna!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black tray with a triangular dish configuration containing pasta, cucumber salad, and white chocolate mousse on an airplane traytable.

Even the food was incredible for what it was. Normally I have an expectation that the better the airline is, the worse the food is. United food sucks because it's a good airline, Air Canada's food is so good because that airline sucks. Austrian broke the mold here, and I knew we were in for a treat when I saw someone dressed like a chef running around the plane. Orichette pasta with cream sauce, peas, and these lovely blistered cherry tomatoes with a Greek salad, dinner roll with butter, and white chocolate mousse.

PRO TIP: This food tasted great, but if you fly economy on Austrian, their options are only meatless. If this'll make you hungry, bring something else from the airport packed with protein.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hand holds a water bottle that is slightly caved in.

I slept like a baby on this flight! Boeing's lovely 787 Dreamliner aircraft pressurizes at a lower temperature to make sleep easier on the plane, normally I sleep maybe 30 minutes to 2 hours at most, I probably slept 4 hours of this flight. Between the low cabin pressure and the comfy seats and actual pillows that weren't wrapped in cheesecloth, I might as well have been curled up on the clouds outside the windows. Plus, when we landed and the cabin returned to atmopheric pressure, it made my water bottle implode like a submarine full of billionaires, so that was funny.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tower of jams, cold cuts, and fruit sit on a table with croissants and rolls against a window to VIE's tarmac.

EES who!?!? The cutest, nerdiest border patrol officer ever took our photos and fingerprints, asked us if we were staying in Austria, and wished us safe travels no more than ten minutes after deplaning. The original plan was to head into Vienna and get breakfast there while we were forced to leave security, but Vienna is awesome and we didn't even have to go back through. So it wasn't worth the risk leaving and getting sensually frisked by Hans to see the city, so we instead did an Austrian breakfast in the airport while plane spotting.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table in an airport terminal holds a pint of beer.

Adjacent to one of those 9 am pints that has frumpy Ryanair guy's britches in a twist, of course.

After a nice, leisurely breakfast and some souvenir shopping for possibly the most BS country credit I could ever possibly claim, we found the bus to our gate to Krakow...and the First Order's latest droid! I'm all for Roombas and Automowers and robots helping us out, but the unblinking LED eyes of the Scary Austrian Roomba were starting to dip into the uncanny valley. Look at this god awful thing!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett smiles in front of an Austrian Airlines gate for Krakow.

Finally, over fifteen hours later, on our last flight to Krakow! Let's make it, finally!

 That last flight was a domestic Austrian flight, not nearly the level of care we had on the way in, but it was an hour so you wouldn't expect it. Longest hour of my life, though, and while Drew was all happy to get to Krakow and take a nap, I knew damn well we probably had another hour or two of navigating public transport to get to our AirBNB.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: The Polish countryside under an aircraft.

Our little Airbus plane dipped below a rough cloud ceiling over the Polish countryside on approach to Pope Jan Pawel II airport...and just as I can see the cute little farms of rural Poland, I hear the sound of digested food filling a paper bag. Drew's trademark motion sickness has struck again, not on a roller coaster, but on an unexpected rough landing. "Get me another!" he screamed as the paper thin barf bag struggled to keep it together, so I gave him the one from my seat. And two other seats, bro ended up filling four bags of his vomit it was disgusting.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On airport tarmac under a red-tipped wing, a blue bus with Energylandia promo material wrap opens its doors behind a cone.

Of course the Energylandia bus fittingly gets us from plane! 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a wall of white tile decorated with triangle-based graphics, teal font says "Welcome to Krakòw and Malopolska."

...and takes us into the most unsettlingly quiet baggage claim. Maybe we were just landing at an odd time, but Poland dressing their airport security in army green was a little unnerving. But we were here! 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A look at a train staion from an escalator, under a sign reading "GALERIA KRAKOWSKA."

After getting our bags and catching a train to Krakow Glowny (pronounced "gwuvny" per the train conductor taking our tickets), we made it to Krakow's chaotic central station, made it up and headed the mile to our AirBNB.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A courtyard of high rise apartments with balconies and rounded cylindrical stairwells in the concrete.

Did we make it to the right spot? I thought Harry Potter was in Florida. Nope! This was our AirBNB, up five flights of these stairs. Turns out this place used to be employee housing for some Polish bank, per our host.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A restaurant facade painted with flowers reads "PIEROGARNIA KRAKOWIDACY" on a blue sign.

After about an hour nap, we found the little paper handout given to us by our host, Daniel, and saw him recommend a little pierogi place we had seen on the walk in. It was settled: grab dinner here and walk around Krakow's Old Town for a few for a chill, jetlagged evening.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A restaurant with white tables and chairs and light blue walls painted with flowers and decorated with traditional farming equipment.

This place was adorable! It had that rural Midsommar vibe I love while playing crazy Polish folk music, the perfect welcome to this country! I knew damn well there was a Babcza in the back about to whip up the best meal I had ever eaten.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A plate of pierogi dusted with powdered sugar surrounds a sauce dish of sour cream.

Our server was this cutesy Polish girl in a little traditional farmhand dress and flower hairpiece straight out of Midsommar. I do not know what kind of charm Drew pulled talking to her, but after we sit down, she sets down a plate of cream cheese pierogi that neither one of us ordered and smiles at me, "these are for your friend."

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue bowl of tomato soup topped with herbs with a few rotini noodles floating in the red broth.

Having not eaten since Austria, I treated myself to a little zupa pomidora, or tomato soup, mostly because I saw it on the menu and I knew how to order it in Polish. It was honestly better than I expected! Not much different from American tomato soup, but the pasta and garnish goes a long way. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue plate holds several dumplings topped with bacon, onions, and scallions surrounding a dish of diced apples.

This is what we did order! Duck pierogi topped with caramelized onion and bacon jam served with cinnamon apples. It was amazing, nice fatty flavor from the duck and the jam complimented it so well. An amazing welcome to the country!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A row of European housing.

With us now full, we figured a walk across Old Town was in order. Krakow's old town is separated from the modern city by a little band of green space with a bike path running around the old quarter, but it's a quick crossing through a band of park to go from the modern rat race of Poland's second city into its historic capital.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Several buildings in old European style, with a tall brick cathedral of two spires in the background.

They weren't kidding when they raved about this square! It's huge, it's full of life, there's a big market a la Charleston at the center, and St. Mary's Basilica towers over it beautifully at Golden Hour.

Some legend set up a speaker in the middle of the square and it drew these drunk American college kids in like a moth to a flame. Next thing you know, every brainless tourist in Krakow is doing the Macarena while surrounded by an eternity of rich history for some reason. I had no idea why, but at least they were having fun and not annoying the locals like we'd seen earlier. But I'll be damned if this was not a good laugh!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Two cathedral spires, one taller than the other, of red brick bathed in golden sunlight.

St. Mary's Basilica had sadly closed not long before we got here, but I promised Drew we'd check it out before leaving Krakow because he was interested in what could possibly be inside such a majestic building. But hey, we were there just in time for golden hour shots!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall clocktower of brick with a few medieval European buildings in the background.

Krakow's old city square reminded me a lot of the square in Bruges, but with a clocktower, statues, and city market built at the center of the cobblestone. I believe it's the largest of its kind in Europe, per the Poland book I purchased before coming here.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hollow metal statue head without eyes lays sideways on a base, bandages over its mouth.

Cool statue head as an art piece near the clocktower/market. Couldn't find what the significance was supposed to be, sadly.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A brick building with ornate cement accents, with the towers of a cathedral in the background.

They also had this touristy little market, which was a bit more expensive than the souvenirs elsewhere in town, but it was fun to walk around and see what they were selling.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A dimly lit street market with wrought iron light fixtures hanging from a vaulted ceiling, lined with little vendor booths on either side of the corridor.

It reminded me of Charleston, South Carolina's Market Street, if you've been there. They sold typical city souvenirs, in addition to pigeons, things related to Krakow's Jewish district, and dragons referencing some dragon statue down by Wawel Castle.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hook hangs many smiling pierogi plushies, all reading "Krakow" in red letters.

...and also pierogi plushies like the ones Poland's Olympic team had in Milan! Which I had to get for Keely and I!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone dormer jutting from the corner of a cement building with vaulted archways and a light-bathed cathedral with uneven towers in the background.

It was getting late, I was losing sunlight, so we elected to return to the AirBNB, and more importantly, return here in a few days when we had time to properly explore it.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: The uneven spires of St. Mary's Basilica against a blue sky.

So we headed back, with goals to visit again in three days after two very busy days ahead of us.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wrought iron sign over a gate reads "ARBEIT MACHT FREI."

UP NEXT: The most difficult thing I have ever seen traveling brings a shocking, sobering welcome to Poland as we visit the number one place I had to see if I ever came here. An early morning two-part tour starts at the infamous Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial Museum, full of the most horrible things I had ever seen and heard in all my years traveling. It was an honor to be able to do this, and while no amount of interest in this topic can replace the sensation of actually standing in one of these horrible places, I will do my best to write it up honestly, respectfully, and tell anyone who cares to read what I saw that day. I will also be covering our dinner in Kazimierz, as we intentionally did it on this day for a reason.

Ready To Go Answer The Call://Cedar Point Halloweekends 2025

                 Date:9/27/2025-9/28/2025

Destination: Cedar Point

Goal: Top Thrill 2, Siren's Curse

Distance: 156 Miles

Means of Travel: Driving

Potential Credits: 2

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue dragster-themed coaster train reading "CP" on the front in silver and red travels down a length of white track on dark gray supports, with a second coaster in the background featuring a red tilt track element held up by the same shade of gray supports.

My favorite place in the world has not one but two new-to-me coasters that I've not ridden, how do I not have these two credits all the way into Halloweekends!? 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall red white and black tower-shaped top hat element to a coaster, with a black train cresting the apex.

Not many coasters deserved to be called legends, but Top Thrill Dragster was definitely one. The tallest coaster in the world when it opened, it was known for being a short, intense, breathtaking ride that could be very unreliable. Rocking a powerful hydraulic launch and thousands of moving parts, Top Thrill Dragster operated as well as it could from 2003 to an accident in 2021, the right thing was done and Dragster was retired in its current form.

Rumors swirled around over the next few years. Personally, I thought adding an LSM swing launch would be the best way to fix it, which became the rumor, but when it was confirmed that Italian ride manufacturer Zamperla was going to be working on a stratacoaster they got weird. And when Top Thrill 2 was announced, I predicted that it would have serious issues just based on the press release and my engineering tech education, and I was sadly correct. Eight days after it opened, Dragster was closed for the 2024 season. And while the design flaws are fixed and I was eager to ride, I wish we'd have more dialogue about what happened with it in the first place.

I've been to Cedar Point twice since Top Thrill 2 "opened," but the first was in fall of 2024, and back in June it was closed all weekend on us.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Above the green tree line, a black and green coaster train tips forward down a red tilt element.

Oh, and in the middle of all this Top Thrill 2 closure insanity, one random morning that following fall I woke up at 5 am needing to pee. Rolling over to check the time, Facebook tells me that Cedar Point just casually announced an epic-looking Vekoma tilt coaster. That happened too.

We missed Siren's Curse in June too as it opened a week after that trip. Photos in this trip report are mostly from Halloweekends, but many are from June as well.

Saturday

Drew and I started the day with a family function with my folks, many he’d not seen in years so that was nice to get the whole gang together. From there, we loaded up the car and got sent a really weird way to Sandusky.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett, a man in his 30s with messy slicked hair and glasses holds up a purple spider on a necklace.

Hello, Halloweekends! Plan tonight was to start with the haunted houses and ride Siren’s Curse at night. First; we had to get a No Boo Necklace as I can’t do haunts in scare zones on crowded midways where my social anxiety is already high. This accommodation is so cool, it’s allowed me to even do the Haunt events at all, plus showing you how ableist your fellow enthusiasts are is an added bonus!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A sign reads "Original FEAR GROUND FREAK SHOW" and features the head of a demonic ringmaster with a top hat and ruffle.

Our first stop after getting my No Boo and our haunted attractions passes was Fearground Freakshow, an indoor haunt in the Frontiertown carousel building. After dealing with a frustrating employee that didn’t know how to do the ADA and other frustrating employees that wouldn’t go gently tell her how to do it right, we got sent in behind this dad and three middle school-aged girls in those animal onesies. And they did the thing where they decided not to go in because it was funny to hold everyone up so we went ahead of them.

Great haunt in all honesty! Easy to navigate, good scares around every corner, those monkey men are terrifying and they created a cohesive experience that feels like different rooms with different themes. Only gripe is a noticeable lack of clowns in a haunt with this theme.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett smiles in front of a glass case reading "WARNING! POSITIVELY DO NOT OPEN" containing a creepy doll in a red and white dress.

Both of us were sort of on a budget so no Conjuring, but I wasn't even mad. I'm not getting shaken down $20 to wait four hours to carry this thing around with me.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A creepy manor is overgrown with vines.

We ended up circling back up front because Farmhouse had an insane line, so figured we'd do the other two indoor mazes, eat at Grand Pavilion, and then head back out to do the night stuff after dark.

Erie Estate was next, and this is such a cool haunt because the building it's in is actually period and was believed to be haunted. Last year this was more of an atmospheric conga line, operating as an indoor haunted trail somewhat, but this year it was operated like a full on maze and was way scarier. I had to stop and think about where to go, that Ouija board room is so cool, and I swear I felt something tap me on the shoulder.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A facade resembling a red and black haunted mansion with a blue roller coaster behind it.

Midnights had no line, so we'd take it! New haunt so not much changed from last year, it's trippy as hell towards the end when you're supposed to be drugged, and the scenes just look so good. "I'm a doll!" A young lady jumped at me in a little girl's bedroom full of creepy dolls, so I briefly told her that my partner was going to be a doll in the haunt where she worked next weekend.

Last year, this was also the first haunt maze I was able to do after surviving a domestic abuse situation years before, so it'll always be special to me for that reason.

 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett sips a pale yellow drink from a cup garnished with lemon and two black straws.

Since we were up here, we went to Grand Pavilion next where I got my ushe. Funnel cake shrimp, lobster bisque, and this time a Corpse Reviver from the bar's special Halloween menu.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett and Drew smile in front of a large skull with red eyes.

We made our way through Cedar Point's scare zones (which suck, I might not have even needed the necklace) and did both Cut Throat Cove and Blood on the Bayou. Cut Throat is awesome, Drew loves pirates and I like the ghost pirate trope. Plus the bungee guy got me good! Blood on the Bayou was different, it's taking up some of the old Forbidden Frontier docks and functions kind of as an outdoor conga line house. Minimal acting, the layout is a little odd, but I love the Stranger Things vibe here. The towels used as SIF in the shower was an absolutely brilliant way to do the scares at the start and end.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall red and gray roller coaster near a sign that says "SIREN'S CURSE."

Next up, the plan was to walk the plank on Siren's Curse...but literally as the woman signed my ADA pass, another ride op tells her "stop signing them, we're down."

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A red and white oval-shaped entry gate shows an illuminated "TT2" atop it, flanked by images of racers. A striped red and white top hat element peaks over some trees.

So we decided to do Top Thrill 2 at night, after waiting and trying to get on it earlier. This time, by some miracle, we managed to get on (waiting in Top Thrill 2's ADA line watching them cycle trains is something I've spent at least an hour doing this season), and they got us near the front. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall tower of gray supports holds up a spike of striped red and white track into the night sky.

And honestly, my low expectations were met by that ride, sadly. The first launch just felt like a half assed love tap up the tower, second was frustratingly slow, the straight tower was boring, and by the time you were at the bottom, it was at full speed so the launch didn't do much. You got some ejector over the top, but by now it was rattling like mad. And that made me sad, because I'd heard it was much better than what we just got.

The social media post I made criticizing this ride honestly, respectfully, and fairly also attracted a lot of Cedar Point fanboys and the usual venom they bring, including insults that were incredibly personal and sexually charged from people that didn't know me, so that also left a very bad taste in my mouth. I'm not a fan at all of this whole "you can't say anything bad about certain coasters" mentality and it has no place in an interest centering around STEM.

So with that, we went back to the hotel, it was an early morning to early entry the next day!

Sunday

We got up early, got donuts at the donut shop next to the hotel, I got McDonald's because one donut wasn't going to hold me over on those dining plan portions, and we made a bee line to America's Rockin' Roller Coast.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A carousel with a "Cedar Point; Making People Happy Since 1870" sign is flanked by two scarecrows.

Good Morning, Cedar Point!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black and green roller coaster train is tipped forward on a length of red track, being rotated from horizontal to vertical and connecting to the top of a vertical curved drop in the front.

With our Siren being temperamental last night, there was no question what our first ride today was. We booked it right back to Siren's Curse! It's going down!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An on-ride photo of Drew and Jarrett on Siren's Curse.

This is like a coaster Christmas present, I had to wait forever for it and it was totally worth it for such a cool new toy! Fønix, Denmark's sort of final boss coaster, showed me just how good new school Vekoma was, but this takes it to the next level! This is easily second to Steel Vengeance in the park! And I'm so glad we finally have a non-water nautical-themed ride in this lakeside park that kicks so much ass!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tower of vertical coaster track drops a black and green train down a spiral of red track.

We were fortunate enough to get the back, and were the last to engage the lift to the beautiful Siren's call, singing her song amid the waves and seagulls and bells of the harbor. But as we came closer per her serenade, we felt the claw lock under the train, and were raised skyward and the tilt mechanism rotated from horizontal to vertical, seeing the whole length of the train down the the nose floating in midair. As it steepened, I felt myself tip forward into that unlocked vest restraint, looking terrifyingly down the row of seats, part of my mind hoping it had successfully connected to the rest of the track as you can't even see it from back here. And when it let go, it had this drop tower-esque floater that my coworker had told me about when he rode it. This is an amazing element. It's marketable, it's freaky, and I don't see myself getting bored of it anytime soon.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black and green coaster train hops through a wave turn of red track, with black supports in the background.

After preparing to meet my doom, every Cedar Point fanboy's sexy new mermaid girlfriend took both of us for quite the ride, rolling and tossing both of us around like her toys. That drop has some great whip to it in the back, that turnover thing is full of airtime, and that brisk barrel roll as the third element on the ride is Velocicoaster or Maxx Force level. That triple down is full of sick airtime, you get tossed out of your seat harder and harder each time. There's a sort of exaggerated zero-g transition after the trench, which gets you even more airtime, followed by another hill and roll. There's then a small wave turn and some side-to-side hopping before you hit the brakes. Siren's Curse is unique in that yes, it's gimmicky and marketable, but that sold a good main ride as opposed to B&M's "giant drop into generic layout" dive machines. This is how uniqueness and marketability on a good ride is done!

So yes, it's a short ride, but it packs so much goodness into what's there that it's my new #2 in the park. I would gladly ride this Siren anytime, don't tell Keely! 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A silver train twists down a spiral of red and white coaster track held up by black supports.

With Top Thrill 2 operating during Early Entry, I elected to go over and get another ride in, and I can safely say I was wrong. They put me in the back, and that added so much to the ride. Yes, that first launch still sucks, but feeling the full force of that backwards blast into the spike is nothing short of breathtaking when the force goes to neutral and you catch yourself looking down the length of the train that high off the ground, with the whole layout stretched before you. And coming off that top hat? One of the best ejector moments on any coaster, my butt was completely off the seat and my thighs glued to that restraint when we got whipped through that downward spiral, my brain didn't have time to process that the little reacharound support wasn't going to take my head off so that was terrifying 300 feet in the air. This thing is amazing! Not perfect, but amazing.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Two men pretend to sleep in a Millennium Force on-ride photo.

Snagged a ride on Millennium Force next. Now, for the record, I do enjoy this coaster. Both of us made it our new #1s when we went here as new enthusiasts and it'll always be special to us for that reason. But if you're claiming that this is the best coaster in the world 25 years later, in a world with ArieForce, Wildfire, Ride to Happiness, Helix, hell even Steel Vengeance in the same park? Keeping this as a #1 is a tradition, not an unbiased opinion. Even I have ignorant new enthusiast posts defending this ride with like 68 credits to my name. So we had fun with it, but took a snooze in the photo for a laugh.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett and Drew hang on in a Magnum XL-200 on-ride photo.

We also rode Magnum, which I think dishes out the better ride if you know where to sit. Go vomit seat or go home! This was the most innovative coaster ever built, if you ask me.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett's hand holds a blue beer can showing a siren's face and Sirens Curse's tilt track. The can reads "MARKET GARDEN BREWERY; SIREN'S CURSE; Cedar Point; TILTED LIME LAGER."

We went back to Farmhouse next, so I snagged some knock off Cracker Barrel and the new Siren's Curse beer, which majorly hit the spot on a hot day. It's a bit like a Bud Light Lime but more full-flavored.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A massive wooden structure holds up two elements of brown steel coaster track, a cast iron-themed train reading "STEEL VENGEANCE" on the front dives down from a steep wave turn.

Steel Vengeance was our reason to be back here, so we grabbed a ride and it was amazing as always. I'm so glad RMC has built coasters better than it, because this is really damn good! You're out of your seat, whirling around inside a disorienting box of wooden supports, all while overlooking Lake Erie. It's an incredible experience, and while I no longer rank it as my #1, I see why people still do.

(But please, for the love of god, move on at some point! We do not need another Beast or Millennium Force!)

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An empty Steel Vengeance train drops down the lift, the sign is in the foreground and features a steel and wood "STEEL VENGEANCE" logo against red Western rock and chains, with hay bales and pumpkins stacked in front of it.

Drew's motion sickness reared its ugly head and he lost his donuts on this ride, so he decided to sit the next ride out.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A bronze train of three cars flies over a red hill of coaster track over some willow trees, with Lake Erie and a Great Lakes shoal in the background.

Maverick is another favorite of mine at this park. Despite my father thinking on our 2011 trip, "I bet nobody rides Maverick because it isn't very tall," everyone understands how great this ride still is almost 20 years later. It does more snapping and less turning than Pantherian, which I love, the inversions are nice and snappy, and that last bit after the launch is simply hell on wheels. Maverick's almost old enough to drink, good god I'm elderly.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stage shows a wedding setup, with floral wreaths and an altar.

Last time I attended a wedding in Sandusky, my cousin married her husband, I horribly danced to Who Let The Dogs Out with said cousin's adult entertainer friend and accidentally bonked her in the head after catching a flower (the garter got stuck in the chandelier), and they had to move the venue three times. And a week later, a video of my mom falling on Kalahari's Flowrider went family viral at a funeral as everyone watched this wedding video at the viewing on their phones laughing.

This time wasn't as eventful. The bride was murdered, we had to decide between the groom, groom's mother, maid of honor, and bride's ex to decide who killed her. They sang musical numbers pleading their case, ultimately we decided it was the mother Bianca and bride Violet came back to life to throw Bianca into the casket to disembowel her and show us that she was burning in hell. The wedding show (don't remember the name) is so fun, Keely and I love true crime and stuff so I was all over this.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A station roof says "Blue Streak" in retro blue font.

We headed back up front, planning to use my dining plan and ride Siren's Curse one more time before the three hour drive home to Dayton. I snagged on classic coaster favorite Blue Streak, an amazing airtime machine that has deserved to stand the test of time.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An on-ride photo of Jarrett on GateKeeper.

Needed to wait a few for my dining plan, so GateKeeper was a walk-on.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An elevated lakeside patio, with a large blue coaster overlooking it.

Time for funnel cake fries and lobster bisque once more! Not a bad view to enjoy it by, either.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black and green Siren's Curse train dives down from an airtime hill of red track.

Alright, Siren's and dip...and it was down. So we decided to make our last ride Top Thrill 2, and I decided I'd be back here a lot next year to enjoy this amazing coaster.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue dragster-themed coaster train rides down a flat length of white track under a blue "FINISH" sign.

I hate that I love this thing as much as I do. It shouldn't have been Zamperla, there were clear issues with it, the rattle and other train details make it feel cheaply made, but the ride is just so good! I'm addicted to that amazing, ejector-filled top hat and the subsequent freefall back to earth at those speeds. It's amazing! It's like the Taco Bell of roller coasters, it's so cheap and crappy but you love it and crave it and it's so good.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A red t-shirt says "Top Thrill 2; Cedar Point" on it with the ride's stats.

I went from hating those Stupid Top Thrill 2 hoodies, to wanting a stupid Top Thrill 2 hoodie, to Pagoda not having a stupid Top Thrill 2 hoodie. So I got a stupid t-shirt instead as we headed out and back to Dayton.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Steel Vengeance train rolls up through a wooden structure, in the foreground of a massive wooden truss.

I'm planning to leave Ohio next year, and being just 3 hours from this park is one of the things I will miss the most about my home state. And they just got two amazing coasters! One I had very high expectations for that were met, the other I went from being a skeptic to buying the t-shirt, and honestly, this is the most stacked Cedar Point has ever been. I can't wait to see what they cook up next, whenever it rolls out I'll be heading back to Sandusky from New York for sure!

Thank you, Cedar Point. Thank you for making my favorite place in the world a part of my home.