Iron Curtain 2026 Region Trip://Leg 1.2~Mine Carts and Chicken Hearts

                    Date:4/25/2026-5/6/2026

Destination: Poland, Germany

Goal: Energylandia, Phantasialand, Europa Park, Poland Culture, Germany Culture

Distance: 4700 Miles

Means of Travel: Flying, Train, Tour Bus

Potential Credits: 40

Day 1 (continued)

So we left Birkenau and drove, about an hour and a half, I don’t know.  I didn't want to just walk away from how I felt after seeing Auschwitz, but I wanted to take some time before I finished processing how I felt, so I put a metaphorical pin in it. I read my novel, texted with Keely some, and enjoyed sitting and resting after all that walking. After all, we had even more time on our feet coming up.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone cavern carved with an altar featuring the Virgin Mary carved of salt in a geode-like nave, with a white chandelier of wood and crystals in the foreground.

The other culturally significant thing we managed in Polska was the UNESCO-certified Wieliczka Salt Mine. But wait. A salt mine? A dirty hole in the ground where sweaty men in coveralls break up rocks all day is a UNESCO World Heritage Site? Yes it is. Why? Because Europe’s first mine is not only a historically significant medieval relic that’s been used continuously since the Paleolithic times, but also for the amazing artwork that’s been carved in the depths of the earth here. This is the closest we have to an underground Dwarven cave city.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Behind a fence, a wide beige building has a metal tower with scaffold rising over it.

We arrived shortly before 1, with massive lines broken up by language to go down into the mine. Initially, the 1 o’clock tour was full and our small tour bus was to wait an hour to descend, but our driver was awesome and pulled some strings and the next thing you knew, we were heading down the stairs in the larger group with our guide Marta.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A cement basement with wooden carvings of buildings on its walls.

The salt mine tour begins down some steps into a house thing, and then down a wooden staircase. Thoosies, if you’ve done Silver Dollar City’s Marvel Cave Tour, it’s a lot like that. At the bottom were these reliefs of life in the salt mines.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett and Drew flash peace signs in front of a brick wall reading "THE BONO; LEVEL I; 64 METRES DEEP."

Going down! We were already a hypercoaster deep, if you put Steel Vengeance over top of us, it still wouldn't be tall enough to reach the surface. And we were just getting started!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A rope winch suspends a large stone as two dummies work levers in the mine.

Wieliczka is a sort of hybrid between the Silver Dollar City cave tour, an art exhibition, and a museum to how this mine once worked. Throughout our journey, we encountered statues carved of stone, displays illustrating the mining trade, and natural wonders.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone statue in a cavern of a stylized man holding an arm up, clasping a sphere. Beneath it, bas relief reads "MIKOLAJ KOPERNIK"

Many statues were down here, often with political and mythological themes to them. This was famous astronomer Copernicus, who I was unaware was Polish until this very moment.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: In an underground cave-like chamber of stone, statues of two guards surround a statue prince proposing with a fistful of salt to a statue of a woman in a gown and crown.

This is the story of Saint Kinga, the Hungarian princess who is credited with discovering this place. When she married into the Polish royal family, she asked for a lump of salt as dowry (think like a trade used to "buy" the marriage into a royal family), and threw her ring into a Hungarian salt mine. But upon arriving in Poland, she ordered this spot be mined. When the first salt crystal was excavated, her engagement ring was inside! Saint Kinga is the patron saint of mining, and is credited as the matriarch of this place.

They even had this cool little show to tell the story.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Mannequins of two neolithic peoples retrieve salt water from the ground of a diorama.

Nah, cool story but it was just this. Wieliczka was Europe's first mine, and use of its salt deposits go back to neolithic times. Stonehenge isn't the only stone age icon in Europe! But in this era, the salt was mined at the surface, operating more as a saline well than a cavernous seam.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone statue lays against a rocky ledge in a dark chamber, holding up a mockup of a torch.

Don't whistle in the Mystery Mine, for danger you will meet! These poor bastards had the important job of clearing methane pockets from the mine, by carrying flaming torches around and waiting on blue flames to burst off of it! Needless to say, this was a dangerous job.

Projection mapping was used to illustrate this explosive task.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A coarse, popcorn-like deposit of salt stuck to natural stone walls.

These natural salt deposits are what was being (and still is) mined here. People crowded around to taste the wall, which flakes off onto your finger in a sense. Due to the environment, the air down here is actually very healthy for you to breathe, there's even a spa! Drew said this was the only part of the trip his allergies didn't bother him.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: In a low light environment, a display shows several horses around wooden machinery.

This was the stable room, which is built up in a large chamber and was where the horses were kept, along with this insanely cool wooden winch.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stylized stone bust of a medieval king with a crown and beard, and wearing two Polish coats of arms as badges on his regalia.

And here is King Kazimierz III, who obviously rocks. Both because he was the only Polish king to be called "The Great," and because he is made out of rock. This man is one of many national heroes to Poland, he did a lot to stabilize Poland domestically over military campaigns, and did a lot to protect the existing and immigrating Jewish population in Krakow. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A long, winding staircase descends down a cavern into darkness.

We had quite the descent after this! This tall chamber was equipped with large wooden stair flights, which made for quite the harrowing climb down. You couldn't see the bottom, both because it weaved around a lot, and because it was too dark. Frankly, I'm not sure I want to.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: In a dark cave-like chamber, several small statues of gnomes perform various mining tasks.

As if this couldn't feel anymore like a Dwarven underground mountain city like you'd see in Dungeons and Dragons, we have gnomes! These little guys were sculpted like little hidden easter eggs on the aforementioned stair flight, all leading up to this room. Hi ho, hi ho!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wooden nave shows a carved wooden crucifix.

A few little chapels exist down here, both for the miners to actively use and as art pieces. At the bottom of this staircase, we passed this little nave of Christ and continued along...

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A church hewn into an underground chamber of stone lined with carvings on the walls and an altar of salt and stone at the rear of the room, lit by five hanging chandeliers.

Well, a few hundred feet later, here it is! Saint Kinga's Chapel, dedicated to the princess in the story above, is a beautiful wonder of both human craftsmanship and natural occurrence. This is the spot that ends up in books, Instagram photos, it is impossible to plan a trip to Poland without seeing photos of this. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone cavern carved with an altar featuring the Virgin Mary carved of salt in a geode-like nave, with a white chandelier of wood and crystals in the foreground.

While I thought the whole idea of Christianity was not to go someplace far underground, Saint Kinga's Chapel invokes and calls a higher power to low places. It's an entire Catholic basilica carved of the earth's solid crust, with religious art hewn right into the quarried rock left behind from salt mining. It's absolutely beautiful, and probably up there with Mont St-Michel for best cathedral in Europe.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone altar built around a statue of the Virgin Mary carved from salt and surrounded by crystals, under a white chandelier and over a pulpit featuring an orange-lit niche holding a cross.

You can get married at this altar! They do weddings and masses here, it's a functioning cathedral in the depths beneath the earth.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone niche holds a statue of the Virgin May and child, flanked by two candles.

They range from large to small. There are small idols like this, and large bas relief fresco things all along these walls.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone cavern statue of an elderly man in robes, a papal hat, and holding a staff with a crucifix atop it.

Pope Jan Pawel II is the main man here in Poland, especially in these parts. Krakow's airport is named after him and you'll see him around as one of many celebrated Poles.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett stands in front of the altar of Saint Kinga's Chapel.

I could have stayed down here forever taking photos, 330 feet below the ground, but my heart almost broke when I heard "Okay, Marta's group, please reconvene," in my audio guide. Oh well, we're only halfway down roughly!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A cavernous underground chamber with an illuminated blue underground lake and a lit-up bridge in the background.

The next room casually took us across this beautiful underground lake, where they showed us a cool light show.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A whitewashed wooden structure extends its tall, angling trusses up a vertical stone chasm, with stairs heading into it.

You can't even see the top of it. This chamber was tall but needed supported, so they built a twenty story structure of whitewashed timber. Marta told us this was a very difficult support piece to design, so we can add "engineering marvel" to Wieliczka's resume, what doesn't this place have?

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Under a gabled roof of whitewashed logs, a stone statue shows an eagle wearing a crown over the number 100.

They had some smaller statues up ahead, on of which was Poland's eagle seen on their coat of arms.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall chamber supported by whitewashed wooden timbers has an underground lake with a tunnel out of it, and a shrine depicting a pope.

It's A Small World After All! There's also a tunnel of love apparently, they used to do little boat cruises on this underground lake.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall rocky chasm held up with a few timber beams rises high, with an elevator shaft off to the side.

Of course this place would have the most extra exit gift shop I've ever seen. The tallest chamber we would see on the tour route, you can exit through the gift shop or take a (paid) elevator to the top of the chamber before your ascent to the surface. I snagged my family members these little pewter mine carts that said Wieliczka on their sides filled with a pinkish rock salt. Those are shelves of trinkets and postcards at the bottom of this photo!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A set of mine cart tracks snake far back down a long, curvy tunnel.

I was honestly feeling glad we made it to the bottom with our tour party. I knew that we barely scratched the surfaces of these tunnels on this tour, and as such, getting separated from your group is a serious problem if you get lost down here with no reception. This ominous sight was on the way to the elevator.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: In a rocky chamber, statues show two men holding hammers.

This cool statue display was also kind of an easter egg you pass at the end.

"We have a more modern elevator, and an older more shaking cage elevator the miners used," Marta informed us as our group split to fend for themselves for a ride back to the sun. Drew and I got stuck in a really long line, when they randomly took a cluster of us down another corridor to an elevator. "Is this the new or old elevator?" I asked this mine employee. "It's the old one, I'm sorry," she replied. Drew and I high-fived, we wanted one last thrill out of Wieliczka! It's not quite coaster rattly, but you do feel it sway around on the bearings as you see the stone whizz by just inches from you, protected only by a thin plate of metal with holes drilled in it. Hang onto your phone, it absolutely can fall out!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A small green space in a city with vintage architecture, surrounded by a menorah-shaped fence.

Once we were back on the ground, it was a quick back to Krakow. From here, Drew and I had decided to save Kazimierz, the Jewish quarter in Krakow, for today's dinner. While I am an atheist, back at home I play Dungeons & Dragons with a Rabbi and his wife, and these wonderful people have done so much to invite me to their holidays and teach me about a fascinating faith I am not even a part of. And their food will knock your socks off!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone-shaped monument with text and a Star of David on it, with offerings including many rocks and stones at the edge of a city green space. The English reads "PLACE OF MEDITATION UPON THE MARTYRDOM OF 65 THOUSAND POLISH CITIZENS OF JEWISH NATIONALITY FROM CRACOW AND ITS ENVIRONS KILLED BY THE NAZIS DURING WORLD WAR II."

To end the day that started at a place as horrible as Auschwitz not on a fun note, but an optimistic one, and celebrate the beautiful community from which evil tried to take from this city, we took the light rail to Kazimierz. One of the big values to appear as a theme in Judaism is resilience: a people that can survive anything no matter what. And this beautiful, kind, thriving community is a testement to that.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A building sandwiched between two smaller buildings with an archway topped by a menorah-shaped light.

Kazimierz, named for the same Kazimierz III you saw in the mine, is one of those places that's more of a vibe than a specific attraction. Yes, there's a synagogue there and a Jewish cemetery that were closed by the time we arrived for dinner, but it's just the experience of being there and eating there and being among the community that I felt most rewarding.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A restaurant has three windows looking out of doors under signs in Polish, with ads on their inside faces.

We looked around for a while for the kind of Ashkenazi food I was hoping to find, to find this place with storefronts to nowhere and ads for food that seemed very affordable. What the hell's this? We thought, looking at the random signs in Polish. We decided to step in and give it a whirl, not realizing we might have stumbled into the coolest Krakow restaurant the internet has never heard of.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A restaurant with two halves, one in a green grocery store, the other in a dingy workshop with tools hanging from the walls. A jagged column of bricks separates them at the very end.

We stepped into a dark, dreary tailor's shop, which extended through the bricks of a non-existent wall into a blue-painted furniture store. "Once Upon A Time In Kazimierz," read the menu themed as a newspaper. The restaurant concept? Four businesses separated by barriers that have melted away, Krakow's Jewish community that lived in Old Kazimierz was one, big, loving community. And this restaurant celebrates that by setting up shop in four different period businesses. We took a seat on the couch in the carpenter's shop, and cracked open the menu.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A white plate shows three squares of cracker-like crispy bread and three sauce cups of two white sauces and a red pepper paste.

Matzo was brought to us, an unleavened Jewish bread commonly eaten during Passover. We also ordered us a gefiltefish, a kosher fish product that goes great on this! The Klezmer music they play started getting really upbeat and crazy as Drew and I's alcohol started to toy with us, he shot me a smile and said "okay, this is what I came here for."

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A plate of light and dark chicken meat chunks with onions, garnished with greens and a magenta flower.

Drew got duck again, whereas I felt like going totally crazy and trying something I'd never seen before: the Jerusalem Mix. This chicken dish consists of breast chunks, livers, and hearts sauteed in a Middle Eastern spice blend. Wasn't the biggest fan of the liver texture, but I'm a certified chicken heart guy now! Also got some cabbage and beetroot to pair, and my fair share of beer and vodka.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett drinks from a small wine glass a colorless liquid at an outdoor dining area.

On the way out, we were approached by another cute Polish woman who offered us to this restaurant, Awiw (pronounced "Aviv"), so Drew and I sat down and did one more shot for the hell of it before returning to the Airbnb. I had forgotten quite what my grandma said to say when toasting in Polish, so she told us it was "na zdrowie." So with a big "za zdrowie!" (my grandma said za instead of na for some reason), we made what would've been the first bad decision of the night had we drank literally anymore, and headed back to the apartment. Zadra needs us tomorrow!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett smiles in front of a synagogue gate with Hebrew characters over its curved arch.

During our meal, we heard some sort of racket outside, and when we turned, it was a giant procession of kids in kippahs, which looked like a bar mitzvah, running through the streets. They were clapping, cheering, partying, and just having a hell of a time celebrating as their culture celebrates. It was the most beautiful thing, and moments like this that make the exertion that is international travel worth the money, the time difference with loved ones, and the weeks in an unfamiliar environment.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A red steel roller coaster with a Vekoma train themed as a black checkered race car makes a tight curve.

UP NEXT: Drew and I take on the most wacked-out Rollercoaster Tycoon park I've ever seen as we head to Poland's Cedar Point: the legendary Energylandia and its massive lineup of fifteen cloned filler credits and four world-class coasters. Zadra, the big dog of the trip, gets its chance to leave the competition in splinters as I rank the last RMC coaster in Europe I need to ride to complete the set. Can we get all 19 coasters and credit after Drew's Zabka cravings make us miss the bus to the park? Stick around for a full writeup of one of the most bizarre parks I've ever seen!