Date: 6/26/2020-6/28/2020
Day 1
The night before we left, I got Ben from CVG and we had a guy's night over Skyline Chili and Survivor. Plan was for him to chill at my place all day and then get in the car and head down after I got off work. But with how dead we were, I mentioned that I was traveling and my boss told me I could just take off once I finished the task I was working on. So around 9:30 I was able to head home and surprise Ben with the opportunity to leave right that second!
The drive down was pretty easy, I handled everything through Cincinnati and then Ben took over from there, allowing me to just kick back and live in the moment the whole way down. I got a call from work about a miscommunication on the way but nobody seemed mad, so I shrugged it off. We just chillaxed pretty much the entire drive and rolled in around 5 pm, enabling us to swing extra stuff, literally!
Rowdy Bear Mountain is home to three credits, one of which I had. My fat ass was too big to do the zip rail when I was here last due to them dropping the weight limit when it's rainy, but here it wasn't raining so I was able to get on this! And holy crap it's scary! It's basically like a miniature Arrow suspended that you dangle from by only a harness and a bike handlebar, and it swings really violently around the corners. So you're violently swinging around by this harness while suspended like forty stories over the parking lot dangling by just this harness, it's easily the scariest coaster I've been on of the near 400 in my count.
And speaking of scary, it's very clear that Sevier County doesn't believe this virus exists. If you've ever been to the Gatlinburg strip on a weekend, you know it's usually rocking. People walking to whatever tourist shit they're doing next, big lines spilling out into the sidewalk, it's a very live atmosphere. And it was just like that in June 2020, and that's just the problem. I kid you not, in the giant line for Hillbilly Golf we counted maybe 3-6 masks on.
Ben and I were going to do Dick's Last Resort and get abused after this but it was slammed, so we tried the one at The Island, which was also fully booked. So with both of us getting hangry, we went to Dollywood instead since we had season passes.
Dollywood's Food & Flower Festival was going on at the time, and the park spared no expense using it to welcome back its guests. Sort of the theme behind this event was a storm ending and the rain making all the plants and flowers grow, not sure if this was intentional or not but man did it juxtapose nicely with current events. Like, a lot.
Normally when you're at Dollywood, you're there to eat like shit. But at the Food & Flower Festival, their options were a bit healthier. Dinner was this lovely chicken stir fry with veggies, perfect for my fat ass.
We went to Wildwood Grove next to get Ben the Dragonflyer credit...and it goes down as soon as we hit the station. That being said, by now it was clear that one park was handling COVID better than the other, at least from a social distancing standpoint. Everyone still had their masks on, unlike SDC, and while both parks were still sanitizing everything, Dollywood's queues were even socially distanced pretty well!
With that put out of commission until tomorrow, Ben and I elected to just chill out and watch the Wildwood Grove night show. This tree is beautiful! It's not just lights that change colors, this is an actual show that tells a story narrated by Dolly, the perfect way to end the night at this gorgeous park.
Day 2
The day began with a run by Wendy's for breakfast before heading to the park once again.
Driving in and parking, we went to board the tram where not even inside park gates we had our first COVIDiot. Brad here taking the kids to Dollywood decided to set an example by taking his mask off once the employees weren't looking. So the nice old retired ladies make an announcement that the tram will not move until everyone has their mask on. Still no movement. So the tram will not move until everybody including everyone in car 2 has their mask on. All the way. Once Brad grumbled and pulled his face condom over his nose like a good noodle, the tram took us into the park!
The first two rides of the day were the two firefighter-themed coasters. As we all know, just a week ago I was on Fire In The Hole, and was finally comparing them side by side. Yes, FITH incorporates local history so that alone gives it the edge with me simply because that's so cool, but Blazing Fury's effects still work and it has that gorgeous bridge scene.
Moving on to the other firefighting ride, and one of the best family coasters out there, Ben and I waited it out for Firechaser Express. I will never not love a good ride on this, it's an adorable and fun yet packs a punch. That backwards launch kicks serious ass as well, been riding this thing since it opened in 2014 and it still always takes me by surprise. Why aren't there more of these in the States???
The Sahara Dust cloud was blowing through the southeastern US at the time, and it made for some interesting atmospheric perspective everywhere you looked. Lightning Rod looked even more unusual down again across the valley.
Next up I got classy af with a lobster roll and charcuterie plate, easily the best thing at the festival. Shame no beer with the lobster roll because they pair perfectly with like a bitter Sam Adams or IPA or something but I settled for this blood orange lemonade which was just as amazing.
Dollywood's food festivals, such as this and the International Festival I did back in 2019, are really good in terms of food but there's a lot of waiting in line at little low capacity stands and it costs an arm and a leg. They need to do the Kings Island thing and introduce an Eat Around The World pass like for Grand Carnivale.
After hanging around the park for a bit more and snagging a ride on Mystery Mine with the other Hopp human, we saw Lightning Rod test. Ben and I decided to grab dinner at Aunt Granny's (normally a buffet, now a tabletop all you can eat with COVID) with Andy to talk about RMC Connoisseurs over some good ol' Southern cooking. We ended up all agreeing on the catfish, corn (with an angry react of course), and macaroni and cheese.
