Benelux 2025 Region Trip://Leg 5~ Vianden Castle On The Hill

                Date:5/17/2025-5/28/2025

Destination: Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg

Goal: Coasters, Culture

Distance: 4079 Miles

Means of Travel: Flight

Potential Credits: 39

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Across a valley, a forested hill rises up into the sky, with a beige brick castle atop it. In the foreground, a small round tower with a conical roof is off to the right.

"Benelux" refers to the region composed of the Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg, three nations with several differences, their own identities, but also a lot in common, and enough for there to be a shared identity as well. We'd seen Nederland's famous windmills and Efteling, gone for a spin around Bruges on bikes and Ride to Happiness in Belgium, our next order of business was to complete the trifecta, and bump my country count into the double digits, in the smallest nation either of us had been to: Luxembourg.

Before planning this trip, this tiny country, borderline a microstate, was one I knew and cared very little about. I'd not heard much about how cool Luxembourg is, they didn't have any notable coasters, to me it was just some odd little postage stamp in Europe that I knew existed but couldn't find on a map. But the more looking we did, for some excuse to add this small nation to our country lists, the more I saw how much is really going on in this tiny little triple point between Belgium, France, and Germany.

John found this little town called Vianden clear across the country near the German border, which sat almost postcard perfect in a valley in the foothills of the Alps, with a beautiful castle atop said hill. So we found a nice little chateau style hotel to crash for the night with a nice restaurant, and made plans to stay here and see Vianden Castle.

Dag 5 / Jour 5 (continued)

Picking up on our adventure leaving Walibi Belgium, we headed south from Brussels, where we were greeted by a very different Belgium than the one we'd gotten used to over the past three days. We first entered Belgium in Flanders, the more economic, populated part of Belgium that speaks Flemish, a dialect of Dutch. But instead of more traffic, trucks, and cities, we got a nice road trip through Wallonia, the southern, more agricultural French-speaking part of Belgium.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A grassy rolling field has a few small country homes in it.

For a couple of hours we cruised through the rolling hills of Wallonia, in stark contrast to the flat lowlands which had set the stages for the early Dutch and Belgium legs from Amsterdam to Bruges. This was beautiful, it reminded me of Eastern Ohio's Amish country but French-influenced.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wide rolling field at the foot of a piney hill, with cows grazing on the side of the road.

Eventually, the roads got glass smooth and we saw the Luxembourg sign, this is country #10 for me!

Luxembourg driving is honestly just really easy mountain driving. A lot of Final Destination logging trucks, and a few old farts not in a hurry to get where they're going, but it's far from the hairpins and cliffhanger turns you encounter in Appalachia back at home. Very beautiful, wide open rolling expanses turn into tighter, more twisty mountains.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A small narrow town street at the base of a hill, with European small town architecture dotting either side.

Luxembourg is less than 1000 square miles, so we were able to drive across the country in not even two hours. Eventually, I saw a castle peeking out from the trees, and John gets the "welcome to Germany" text from Verizon (Boost didn't even care I was overseas in the first place, obviously.)

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A castle atop a hill flies several colorful flags.

Not a bad way to welcome you to town!

We drove through the streets of the adorable town of Vianden, John let me out to go check into the hotel, where the receptionist basically told me to just use English because my French sucked. But we parked down the road and headed in to drop our stuff.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Out of a hotel window, one can see a town in the distance, with a small playground over a small parking area for motorcycles in the foreground.

Vianden almost gives me "Gatlinburg if Gatlinburg happened in Europe" vibes. Clearly people are paying to come spend the weekend here in the mountains, the hotels are nice, and the terrain has led to some interesting parking and architecture situations. Our hotel had this little kids playground with motorcycle parking underneath it.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A small wood-paneled pizzeria with a gabled glass ceiling, with lots of pizza boxes stacked up on the counter.

We were excited to try Hotel Petry's restaurant, which had a few sections divided into a pizzeria and an actual nice French-styled restaurant. This place looked cool, they were putting pizzas in a real brick oven with fire, but we were told they had all this stuff over on the other side, so we went to the restaurant.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A restaurant has white walls framed with brown timber.

I've always wanted to eat somewhere like this! I love German cuisine and I've always wanted to eat it in a cozy timber-framed Bavarian inn.

Luxebourg, as we were seeing, likely has its own culture and identity, but a lot of that to me felt buried in French and German influences, maybe a bit of Walloon Belgian. And in France, being loud and drunk in a fancy restaurant is a massive no-no. So when we got seated next to a big group of French business douchebags in suits drinking wine and laughing loudly, it was super entertaining just watching the rest of the diners shoot them dirty looks and talk about them right in front of them.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a plate sits a sort of pizza, topped with white cheese, onions, and ham.

We ended up splitting a tarte flambee/flammekeuche and a jagerschnitzel. Here we have the former, which was fire baked onto a bubbly, charred crust right from a wood-fired brick oven. I love my grandmother's creamy, gooey version of this dish, but this was to die for!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a white plate sits a breaded pork tenderloin with a wedge of lemon, some slaw and potato garnish.

We also shared this schnitzel, which I loved. Nice and thin, flavorful despite the short ingredient list, I've always loved this European staple. This was so good! Light, airy, and the thin breading still held together to cover the tenderloin.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett sits in a nice restaurant, holding a glass of white wine.

Luxembourgish wine is also supposed to be really good so we had a bottle of this Alsatian-styled Riesling, that was amazing.

From here we went to bed, getting our only single night sleep in this country.

Dag 6 / Jour 6

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a wooden table sits a plate of several breakfast items including eggs, bacon, cold cuts, cheese, and bread, with milk and coffee.

We weren't exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed, or even super hungry after the dinner last night, but we still got up and got breakfast here, as it was our only chance to eat breakfast in the country. They had this massive breakfast bar centered around a plate of bread, cheese, and cold cuts just like Sverige and Danmark did, but also with hot items such as eggs and bacon. Pastries, poridges, and a whole juice bar also came with. They also had the spandauer (not Danish) I fell in love with in Copenhagen!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett stands against a mountain river with a castle in the background, wearing a French flag hat and UV glasses tucked into the collar of his shirt.

Alright, time to check out of the room and storm the castle!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Down a reflective, calm mountain river, a bridge arches to a village. Atop a hill is a large castle with many round, pointed towers.

Vianden was our pick for where to spend time in Luxembourg because it had this really cool hilltop castle overlooking the village. I'd seen castle-like structures in France as a kid, been to Mont St-Michel, but never been to a castle as an adult. That was about to change!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: From a parking lot in front of a travel agency, the camera shoots up a hill at the castle.

John was a champ and did his homework, we found a place to park within walking distance of the Heart Attack Hill up to the castle. The morning was cool, so I elected for a long-sleeved button down, but it was also humid as hell, so even in 60 degree weather I got kind of gross climbing up to that castle.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large medieval brick building with a rounded face flies several flags from the curved face.

Vianden Castle is more or less U-shaped, with a horseshoe-shaped outdoor battlement walkway thing around the castle itself, which rocks roughly the same shape. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hill has a brown castle tower and a brick castle wall sticking up from the top of it, with another hill in the background against a cloudy sky.

I said it when I went to Mont St-Michel, and I'll say it again at Vianden Castle: when you're into theme parks and roller coasters, you see a lot of castles. Some of them are the size of some rich douchebag's home and have a dark ride inside, some are the first thing you see at Disney World, but seeing a real, legit, European castle takes a bit to sink in when you're used to that being fiberglass and forced perspective. You touch that brick, it's brick and not siding. You touch that rock, it's granite not concrete. This is not some cheap trick that a multibillion dollar corporation can just throw money at and convince some dumb tourists and their daycare-aged children that they're at a castle from some fairytale with secretly fucked up source material, this is the real deal.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: From atop a hill with old brickwork in the foreground, one looks down at a valley and sees an entire town at the banks of a river.

Not gonna lie, after this much time in countries that are flatter than paper, it was refreshing to run into our first selfie spot that could kill you. But look at this view, you can see all of Vianden!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A dam in the hills has several faces painted on it.

Dam these people, don't know who they are but dam them.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A brick castle has a few towers flanking the gable of a roof.

Cool castle, let's go inside!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large room with a vaulted ceiling holds a stained glass window, a tapestry, and a large fireplace flanked by two suits of armor.

John is not a nerd, but I play Gimble the horny kleptomaniac gnome that's a part-time nudist in a Dungeons & Dragons game every Saturday night, with a Rabbi with the filthiest sense of humor that makes the whole campaign inappropriate. Needless to say, castles, monasteries, Vikings, this is all part of an aesthetic I have massive respect for.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large medieval fireplace flanked by suits of armor.

You know this fireplace makes a damn good beef stew in a cast iron pot.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Two stained glass windows show six different crests, some of which show lion motifs.

Beautiful stained glass window in this chamber! Recognized the two lions of Normandy's flag on the crest in the middle row on the right.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A series of wooden cogs and gears holds a single rusty chain to a wheel of metal hooks.

This was the mechanism used to lower buckets down into the well beneath the castle.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A brickwork castle kitchen holds several pots over a fire pit, with hams hanging from a metal rack above

This kitchen had been wonderfully restored. One day way back when I know servants ran all over the place with pots of stew, baskets of bread, and steins of ale.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A set table in a medieval chamber with white walls and a timber ceiling, with tapestries on the wall and a chandelier hanging below.

And this is where it would've been eaten!

 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wide expanse of grassy rolling hills with a beautiful white home tucked away.

There's a walk around the upper levels of the castle, which provides the best view you're going to get of the surrounding hills of Luxembourg.

I shot a TikTok out here!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A red board shows a tree of Luxembourgish royalty who resided in Vianden Castle.

There was a room that showed the entire lineage of this castle, who was controlling it when, the like. The houses of Vianden, Nassau, Orange, for such a small country it's impressive that Luxembourg changed hands this many times and is still its own state today.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A bust of a man with a thin, scruffy beard is labeled "GUILLAME d'Orange le Taciturne."

We had seen William of Orange mentioned around The Netherlands a few times already, and he's also the Dutch leader in Civilization V. Turns out he's also got a bust in Luxembourg. We would go on to learn that this man, and the House of Orange in general, had influence in the region that could not be overstated.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black and white photo of a castle tower against a wooded hill.

You also get great views of the castle itself from out here!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A bedroom with a canopy bed, and mannequins dressed as a noble arguing with a servant.

I must have missed this episode of Bridgerton, someone fill me in?

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a wooden stand in the foreground of a bishop statue sits a colorful medieval book.

I weirdly have a thing for the aesthetic of these old books. Voynich Manuscript, Codex Gigas (still salty I didn't have time to see this in Stockholm), I don't even know what they say but the books themselves are just really cool to me for some reason.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A framed drawing of a politician. A man speaks to a single microphone on a podium, as several more behind him are pointed to his butt picking up noise lines leaving his rear.

They had this random gallery of modern art with political themes in this castle, some of these were just sad, many were downright hilarious, but they all focused on themes of the media and political deception.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett sits on the steps up to an ornate Romanesque window, with Corinthian columns on either side of the arches. He wears a camera, button-down shirt, and a French flag hat.

The castle called this the Byzantine Chamber, and it's easy to see why if you just look at the architecture.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A white model of the castle sits on a table before several photos on the wall.

This next room had a model of the castle in it, 3D printed and very nice-looking. There was also a gallery of photos from over the years of the castle's modern history, including several heads of state visiting.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A view down a valley with a village alongside a river.

Also at the highest point of the castle, the view from here was incredible!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Out a window high up in the mountains overlooking a village, a cherry red, white, and sky blue Luxembourgish flag flies.

Even Luxembourg's flag shows their close ties to Nederland, they're the same colors but different hues.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall room with vaulted white ceilings held up by red, white, and gold stone columns.

Continuing around, we found the most beautiful room in the castle: this really cool Romanesque chapel!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hand holds a green and blue handheld video game console up in a round rotunda of a chapel with stained glass windows in the background.

I wanted to play Zelda in a castle, and I remembered my Switch was in my camera bag, so I pulled it out and played Zelda in a castle!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett smiles in front of six columns surrounding a walled hole in the floor of a chapel.

This was the second level of the chapel, down the hole behind me there's a level downstairs. The nobles would listen to the service up here where it's nice, the room below is so blah I didn't even photograph it. And that's where the more common residents of the castle would go for mass, hearing it through this hole in the ground.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A rounded chamber of a Romanesque basilica has medieval windows bearing crests around the round wall, a statue sits in the foreground next to an altar.

Most of the rooms here, while beautiful, were just made of simple weathered brick. This, however, was pristine and smooth and they clearly did a lot to make sure the room where Jesus was going to chill was the nicest room in the castle.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A castle with a few different rooms visible from the outside, one chamber has arched Byzantine windows, another has a hip roof, another has a stepped gable roof.

There was another little upper deck here, with similar view to the others.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A view of a few town buildings on a hill, with a large retaining wall behind some houses with a round tower at the end.

The view from up here showed us this little road going up behind one of the little fortifications around town, we talked about maybe heading there after we got done in the castle.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A beautiful suit of metallic gray armor is adorned with ornate designs, holding a matching shield.

Weapons! This room was full of cool medieval armory equipment! This suit of armor was beautiful, the DND nerd in me was in heaven.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett takes a selfie with several glaives hung on a wall below a pointed stone alcove, each staff has a differently curved blade topping it.

Me picking out a device to humanely get rid of those Medicaid scam callers. One of my characters in The Lightning War: Grounding Unit fights with a glaive, so it was cool seeing medieval ones up close.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black and white photo of a cannon in a corner, with several cannonballs behind it.

Having a blast in Luxembourg! First time I've seen a cannon in Europe that did not sink a large percentage of its country's GDP into the Baltic Sea.

(Don't know what I'm talking about, read the Sweden trip report.)

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A stone hearth with charred wood and metal pots sits at the bottom of a chimney of light.

There were two different kitchens in the castle at one point, this one is much older and Carolingian era.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Inside a glass case sits a few fragments of ornate green porcelain tiles.

And here we had a little archaeological crypt (as they called it) with a few artifacts displayed over a little hanging bridge, in the space beneath the castle right on the foundations.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A sausage in a baguette bun is topped with mustard, with a beer in the background. A castle tower can be seen out the window.

After this, we decided to grab a beer in a castle because when else do you get to have a beer in a castle, I took it a step further and got a sausage even though I wasn't hungry just because I'd been craving a street cart sausage. Ordered our shit in French for us too!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Three bottles have pump tops: one hods yellow paste and says "Moutarde de LUXEMBOURG," one has red paste and says "Ketchup de LUXEMBOURG," and one holds white paste and says "Mayonnaise de LUXEMBOURG."

These fancy condiments in French made me chuckle, France hates ketchup and yet Luxembourg Ketchup is a thing just over the border. Gotta make sure to get the mayo, Luxembourg is known for its mayo obviously!

We went to the gift shop, I lost the bag of things I got and I'm salty about it. And then we headed out.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A view across a valley with some houses and a castle on the hill opposite a simple stone brick wall.

But not quite! We did hike back to the car and checked out that little retaining wall, and the views of the castle you get from there are actually some of the best in town. Couldn't go in the tower but it's probably a nice little walk if you live here.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Down a reflective, calm mountain river, a bridge arches to a village. Atop a hill is a large castle with many round, pointed towers.

We finished up, got in the car, and headed back to the Netherlands. But less than 24 hours in this country and it's still one of my favorites I've been to. It's tiny, it's simple, it's beautiful, and so easy to get around. Contemporary creature comforts meet classical elegance in the smallest country I've had the chance to visit. Sure much of the identity comes from neighboring countries I feel, but the big thing I probably noticed that was uniquely Luxembourgish was their transportation infrastructure. The roads here are silk smooth despite being up in the mountains, and while we had a car, public transport is free here. It's a little slice of beautiful simplicity with a legacy stretching back to Charlemagne, and after all this time, it's still its own country, my tenth country, and probably a top three country.

Thank you, Luxembourg. I'd say Merci, but apparently y'all think my French sucks.

We got going to Walibi Holland next, but on the way back through Belgium, we stopped at a chocolate shop and got some snacks for us, as well as to take home. Brought a little insulated lunch bag all the way to Belgium with me specifically to transport chocolate back home.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Dutch styled inn, white and green with a tiled roof, reads "DE HOEVE VAN NUNSPEET" on a green sign.

After I drove for two hours, John and I switched off. However, this part of the Netherlands was noticeably very flat. Youri had told us that we would be on one of the polders at Walibi Holland, man-made piece of land made by filling in the sea that sit very low. We continued our road trip alongside the flat polder and raised dikes that keep the water out before arriving at De Hoeve Van Nunspeet, our second to last quarters for the trip.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: The grounds of a hotel in the woods, with a small barrel-shaped wooden bungalow rocking a small porch and awning.

This place was adorable! It's nestled in the forest, they had these cute little bungalows outside, and a wedding full of drunk Nederlanders was going on!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black plate sits on a table, holding a rolled up chicken cutlet wrapped in bacon and topped with gravy, garnished with fresh vegetables and yellow puree.

John and I went to grab food, and I ended up getting a chicken croquette that was amazing, paired well with a very strong Trippel beer too!

We went to bed afterwards, only to struggle to get to sleep when an explosion shook our window at midnight! That Dutch wedding party had been getting beer after Trippel beer in them all evening, and it was time to trust them with explosives! They lit off fireworks right outside our window. Getting drunk and dangerously setting off fireworks is as American as apple pie and denied health insurance claims, but because this was Europe, it's classy!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Three roller coasters crisscross on the shot, a green one, and two blue ones that crest their drops at the same time. The green one is knotted in with the blue one.

UP NEXT: We get what we came here for with Walibi Holland and its 3 RMCs! We take on the most stacked park in the Benelux, rocking an Intamin mega, Mack Big Dipper, a badass RMC hybrid, and two more RMC raptors that duel one another! How will the unique twins that make up YoY ride after crossing the Atlantic for this very special set of coasters.