Benelux 2025 Region Trip://Leg 2~ Max and Moritz Swipe A GoPro

           Date:5/17/2025-5/28/2025

Destination: Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg

Goal: Coasters, Culture

Distance: 4079 Miles

Means of Travel: Flight

Potential Credits: 39

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A massive building with a tall roof of three pitched spires of thatched grass says "EFTELING" in gold letters on some log trusses, two green and gold Efteling flags fly in the foreground.

Our plan was to start the trip off on a good note with beautiful Efteling, arguably the most famous park in the Benelux. Themed to fairy tales and mythology, the things here, particularly the dark rides, were known for sparing no expense when it came to theming, storytelling, and place setting. Many compare it to Disneyland.

As a published author, I can respect a good show of storytelling and worldbuilding. And today, I was going into Efteling with 493 credits, and with Efteling being home to six RCDB entries with two of those entries being racing/dueling coasters, halfway to a thousand would happen today if all panned out according to plan! This fantasy author was about to get his 500th coaster at Efteling!

Dag 2/Jour 2

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A brown fiberglass medieval boot ornament reads "Efteling" in white font.

I slept like a baby that night. I was planning on waking up with John, heading to the lobby, and getting breakfast, but my sleep meds had me so drugged up that he couldn't wake me. So while he's dropping 17 Euros on what I was told was a subpar breakfast, I was catching up on my sleep. When I finally did return to the realm of the living, John's wide awake and dressed all "hey man, good morning, Efteling opens in half an hour!"

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large building has a high, curving ceiling supported by ornate log trusses.

After the short ride to the park, we find ourselves face to face with Efteling's iconic turnstile building! But one issue: my mobile data still doesn't work! In line I'm scrambling to link into Efteling's crap wifi, just as we get to the front of the line I find it and we're in! But this showed me that if I need anything on the internet on this trip that I need to plan ahead and screenshot it whenever I have access to internet. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A sign reads "MAX" in blue and "MORITZ" in green, and shows two twins on clockwork soapbox cars connected by a gold frame.

Our first ride of the trip? We elect to start off small, cute, and funny with Max & Moritz. These two Mack powered coasters, which leave the station opposite one another, were compared to Dr. Seuss at Universal by John, and honestly I think he's right.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A cartoonish pipe organ has a pew before it decorated with several colorful whoopie cushions, a length of green coaster track runs in the background.

Being for a European audience, some of the stories in this park were not things that John or myself would've grown up with, and Max & Moritz were among the things unfamiliar to both of us. I'd read the RCDB blurbs on which myths these Efteling coasters are, and from what I gathered, Max & Moritz are children's book characters that are twin brothers that cause trouble, though the ride is a story created just for Efteling, and the theming definitely sold that! The whole thing looks like a couple of crazy twin brothers live in a cuckoo clock and decided to fuck around, build something, and see what happens. Whoopie cushions are also all over the place here for some reason. Very childish, but also cute, whimsical, and visually appealing.

Boarding the Max side, I open my bag to put my phone away, when I heard and saw the last thing you want to see on a coaster platform: A GoPro falling from my bag, sliding across the smooth station floor under the gate, and into the station track! I had brought two GoPros, a Hero 13 Black that was currently strapped to my chest, and a Hero 7 White that was an older one I took as a spare. The Hero 7 White bounced under the gate, slid across the floor, and dropped right into the bay where the track was! Instantly feeling bad, I go tell the station grouper and he's weirdly chill about it and asks me to tell his colleague when we get off. No rush, park closes early and we have nowhere to be tonight, I can wait until the end of the day to get my spare GoPro back. But then while we're strapped into the train, this woman approaches me with my GoPro before we even rode! And the Hero 7 White didn't even have a scratch on it!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Behind a colorful fence of plushies, targets, and other props stuck with arrows and string lights, a length of green and blue track converge into a turn amid some trees.

The coasters themselves are honestly not much to write home about, but they're fun little family coasters and the dueling, theming, and music makes it a fun experience. On the Moritz side, you even go back through the station and see Max jumping on a giant whoopie cushion that blows on you. Funny little ride, perfect for the park, I give it a golf clap.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wooden roller coaster station has a Viking motif, with red banners hanging from roof trusses overhead amid Viking-styled chandeliers.

We were going to do Danse Macabre next, but with the line, we got in the virtual queue and went to go kill some time with Joris En De Draak, or George and the Dragon. This simple tale of Christian mythology, where St. George battles a dragon not unlike the Archangel Michael story at Mont St-Michel in France, is big in Scandinavia for some reason. I even remember Skansen had a traditional Swedish home with a wood carving of the story on display. And for some reason, the Viking associations of this story continue with Joris En De Draak's Viking theming. Though for some reason you're also racing water verses fire.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A body of water with a boat in it has a wooden coaster and Viking-styled station in the background.

This really surprised us! John and I rode in the front of Fire and neither one of us expected the crazy, fast-paced, airtime filled ride we got as we traded blows with water. I wasn't sure how I felt about having to take my camera bag on this with how many times we got flung upwards into our restraints. This is one of the best GCI creations out there, I couldn't wait to come back for Water later.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On top, a white steel roller coaster with two loops sends a red train through its two consecutive loops. On bottom, the same coaster train traverses a white corkscrew element.

Because we were over there, John and I elected to knock out Python while the line was short. And this was a surprise too! I thought the track had been replaced, John had no idea it had been done and expected a classic old-school Vekoma beatdown, but it's actually very smooth and fun! Shoutout to Efteling for taking care of this thing, a random white steel looper doesn't fit the whimsical fairytale park at all but I know it's kind of their baby for some reason.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large octagonal chapel in Gothic architecture rises in the woods.

Okay, time for Danse Macabre! The virtual queue took us around back into this creepy, misty forest and we were led down some very dark corridors to the ride. I'd seen video online, but could not tell what it did, and didn't know at all what the ride system was. I was going in almost completely blind.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large hexagonal container holds a messy pile of brass horns, drums, and string instruments in a dark room.

We were loaded into these little pew things that circled a table of dusty old instruments, including a trumpet not unlike the one I play. Suddenly, the lights go down, I feel us shuffling around in the dark, and the Dutch cousin of Kings Island's Phantom Theater maestro is floating right above us! From there, we're tipping, twisting, and turning around in the dark amid hauntingly whimsical instruments playing themselves. The floor turns, tips, and the choir stands rotate, and as it tips, it reveals lower levels to the alcoves around the wall where the theming is. Eventually, you see a dark cult in the basement surrounded by bones.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a wall is a bas relief of an anthropomorphic Baphomet goat, holding a red and black coat of arms depicting skulls and hearts.

And my main man Baphomet is there when you get off! Goats are a thing in the Netherlands for some reason, and I love it. Baphomet is the antagonist in the novel I wrote, so I loved seeing this all the way here. We'll revisit the goat motif later!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a table sits a plate bearing a single large pancake with mushrooms, ham, and cheese cooked into it. A beer sits off to the side in a Heineken glass.

I was hungry as shit, so we went and asked for food recommendations. I was told to try the Dutch pancake house over by Symbolica, and it did not disappoint! The beer here is good, the pancakes are delicious and have things cooked into the batter, and eating it in the shadow of beautiful Symbolica was really cool.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On an ornate castle staircase, an animatronic reads a scroll with a colorful red elf in the background.

Speaking of, we'd just had a couple of very strong Dutch beers, so figured that whimsical Symbolica would be a good choice while over here. I was a bit unclear on the Dutch story, but I got that we were entering this magical castle and going on a tour.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Three banners hang from the ceiling: A green one that says "MUZIEKTOUR" with a gold harp symbol, a blue one with a knight helmet that says "HELDENTOUR," and a red one with a coat of arms reading "SCHATTENTOUR."

The staircase opens and you go downstairs where you select the music, treasure, or hero tours. This trackless dark ride can go to different parts of the castle, so you can reride and see the other tours it shows. We elected to do the music tour on account of my background as a theater kid. The other two are the hero tour and the treasure tour, I gathered.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett stands smiling in front of an ornate palace on top of some rocks.

Honestly? It's a fun, beautiful product that goes on forever, the effects are nice and appealing, and I enjoyed it. However, our Efteling hot take was that this one was slightly underwhelming compared to what we expected. I get whimsey isn't always the most exciting theme to do, but this just felt a little too "look, shiney!" around every corner to really have been a super compelling experience. Glad we did it, I'd have felt like we missed something if we didn't, but Danse Macabre was the better dark ride of the two. I liked some of the music stuff, though. Couldn't figure out the interactive part, but we got a wheel of horns and stuff playing somehow.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A prop shows a sleeping giant walled into some bricks, with a man on top screaming to help him.

This is how it feels to squeeze into the RMC when you're a fat guy like me.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett stands in front of a ride facade showing a large vulture, with riders entering between its talons and a mural of the sea behind its wide wings.

Continuing in credits mode, we made our way back to a coaster I hadn't heard much about: Vogel Rok! I saw on RCDB it's supposed to be the vulture from Sinbad, I've not read Sinbad, so I am unfamiliar with the story, but there's a nest and egg in the queue and shit. The coaster honestly surprised us both, it's kind of their knockoff Space Mountain, it's dark and there's stars and it feels faster than it is, but with a few strobey vulture props here and there like Mummy has. Pleasant surprise from this one!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A boat follows another small white boat in a wooded canal.

We also did this long but cute little boat ride around the park, and saw a swan scare the shit out of a goose.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Joris En De Draak rises high over the water, while a water coaster boat splashes down in the foreground.

Started with 493. Max, Moritz, Joris Fire, Python, and Vogel Rok put me at 498. And the remaining coasters to ride were the other side of Joris, a B&M minidiver, and a weird Kumbak water thing. We elected to knock out Joris next, as both 300 and 400 for me were both wooden, and sat in the backside of the water train in a complete 180 from where we were. And this ride was still very fun and very solid, but didn't have the kick that front row on fire did when warmed up. Maybe fire is just that much better, maybe we weren't as warmed up as we thought because we lost, maybe the back just sucks on Joris En De Draak, but the memory I will choose to take from this coaster is our front row ride on fire. Great ride, cool Viking theme having been to Sweden, but noticeably weaker this ride than before.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett stands before a short green dive coaster themed as a steampunk mine shaft, holding a sign that says "500th Credit" in blue letters.

Alrighty! 498…499…1898 for 500! I’ve tried to keep my milestones at least somewhat different, but there's bound to be some overlap. Despite this, I've had a good variety! We've had Schwarzkopf classics, colorful indoor spinning ADHD mayhem, cutting-edge hybrid thrills, and most recently, a controversial rough wooden coaster with an inversion and I'm not talking the one from my home park!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A green steel roller coaster with a lift hill themed after a steampunk mine shaft, complete with girders and a large winch at the top. A car completes a rolling inversion. In the background is a series of brick industrial mine buildings.

I chose Baron 1898 to celebrate the halfway point to 1000 credits. As a roller coaster, it looks pretty vanilla on paper, but this is Efteling we're talking about. Every experience here is special, and I knew that this coaster would make a hell of a milestone. With my interest in roller coasters focusing so heavily on the engineering aspect of it (particularly the creative, outside the box stuff), a mechanical theme was perfect for someone who spent his days in a skilled manufacturing shop. Add in the fact that so much creative, right-brained thinking had to fit so many left-brained rules and formulas to bring this to life? It's perfect for me.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A dark hexagonal room with mine uniforms hanging overhead, people stand around a railing looking down into a pit at a phonograph. One projection screen shows the coaster, the other says "Today, you have the privilege of entering the mine that brings richness and prosperity."

Honestly? I was taken aback by how tiny it is. I knew it was a smaller, compact dive coaster not akin to Griffon or Yukon Striker, but this is really, really small for its type. And I'd seen the elevation drawings when the blueprints were floating around and you saw a big industrial warehouse building almost as tall as the mine shaft, I expected a huge queue building with huge crowds of miners packed into factory floors. This is not what you get here. It's smaller, but more ornate and elaborate, than I expected. The two preshows are great at least! And have English subtitles!

Everything at Efteling is about stories and mythology and the like, the tale here is of the Witte Wieven: white, misty ghosts of women in the folklore of Central Europe. On Baron 1898, a mine baron runs a gold mine that is haunted by these Witte Wieven, who have cursed the mine. The Witte Wieven have no link to mining as far as I am aware, this story is all Efteling's.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A hand wears a black wristband marked "56" with the Baron 1898 mine pickaxe insignia, while holding a yellow ticket over a wooden floor.

I love this bag system! You hand your things over and get a rubber wristband with a number to wear and get your stuff back after. No idiots taking my phone this time, we don't need a repeat of the infamous Skyrush incident of '23!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large brick industrial bay serves as the station for a roller coaster.

Oh yeah, the ride. There's a coaster somewhere in all this theming, isn't there?

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A roller coaster train of three wide cars plunges down a vertical drop from a tower of green iron girders.

Baron 1898 has value as an experience, far more than what it is as a simple roller coaster. The coaster alone, while unique to anything I've done so far, honestly isn't anything special. But as with other things at Efteling, they've put so much of their own love into this that it's a thematic adventure and an art piece, and it's worth its weight in gold as those.

The coaster feels like B&M tried to do a Eurofighter, and it works. The tiny drop is actually terrifying because the hole into which you drop is so small, and that's where it shines as a thrill ride. Beyond that, the elements are pretty textbook B&M, no big surprises, and it's over pretty fast. But the whole package here starts the second you queue into that building and ends when you drop into that tunnel, and that's the part of Baron 1898 that deserves to be celebrated. And that's what I'm going to remember for my 500th coaster.

Come ride along with us on TikTok!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An ornate pirate building of brick and wood is adorned with masts and flags.

I've ridden 500 roller coasters, let's make it 501! De Vliegende Hollander, or The Flying Dutchman as the story is known in the English-speaking world, is obviously a pirate ghost ship. And for some reason, up until this trip I thought it was just a gimmicky water coaster instead of a full themed experience. This thing is awesome in the Pirates of the Caribbean vibes. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A boat splashes down into water near Joris En De Draak and Python.

I was worried about getting my camera or clothes wet taking them on this ride, but we lucked out and got good seats that barely splashed us. But what really got me was the theming. Like I said, I didn't think there was much to this ride, but it's got a whole ass queue, beautiful station, and starts things off in a fucking naval battle! Engaging the lift, we dropped into the prow of the Dutchman, climbed an incline, and stopped at an angle, and I thought we might have a switch track about to send us backwards! Very pleasantly surprised here.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A fountain features Saint Nicholas, with a castle in the background.

"How do you miss a whole ass castle?" John asked. I knew of Droomvlucht and Villa Volta crammed into a corner, so we made the hike out there for what I believed was a Vekoma Madhouse and Haunted Mansion-type ride. But we had no idea this big beautiful square was back in the corner of the park! You could get lost in here so easily, just wander around and find shit!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A shelf features an animatronic of an old man surrounded by candlesticks, chandeliers, and other junk. A painting to the side depicts a middle-aged white man.

Villa Volta was first, a Vekoma Madhouse just like Houdini's Great Escape at John's home park.  The ride was dead as a doornail, we were with less than ten people. I wanted to just walk on, but annoyingly, we had to listen to this old fart ramble in Dutch for ten minutes next to Elon Musk's glamor shot on the wall.

Almost all of this ride is in Dutch, but I read a small paragraph outside that said it was the mansion of a highwayman who made a deal with the devil and rode goats or something. And you have to remove the curse. Hell if I know, the preshows were all in Dutch, and not even that cool to boot.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A white provincal mansion behind a hedge garden, flanked by white lampposts with goat heads adorning them.

At least the music's a banger?

This was the letdown at Efteling, everything Danse Macabre does right, this does wrong. The madhouse itself doesn't look or feel scary or even interesting at all, it might as well just be a stuffy mayonnaise-colored funeral parlor that spins. No props, no storytelling, the only thing I saw to set what was going on here is a small taxidermy goat head on the wall. It wasn't atmospheric in the slightest. Fortunately, the optical illusion on this ride is good and convincing, and the lights flickering in sync to that awesome soundtrack (possibly the best in the park) made this otherwise blah ride enjoyable. And I'd gladly take this ride at my home park and ride it a few times a year if we had it. But this is magical, world-famous Efteling we're talking about, and it's extremely subpar relative to their other dark rides. Both of us agreed Houdini is the far better ride, and when Six Flags is making better themed experiences than fucking Efteling, something feels upside-down about that.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An archway leads into a building with hanging leaves and colored orbs, with floral spires and leaves flanking the entrance.

DrooMvluchT, emphasis on the letters DMT in the name, was next to close out the night. This was a ride I believed was Efteling's take on Haunted Mansion for some reason. But it was clear I was dead wrong when we walk into this odd queue of leaves and glowy glass balls. We eventually come to a station for a hanging dark ride, similar to Peter Pan.

This pleasant surprise more than made up for disappointing Villa Volta and was the perfect way to end the night! There's no story here, nothing to set up, it's just a trippy vibe through some visually stunning scenes. You have castles and kingdoms, fairy forests where you can smell the flowers, sparkly star tunnels, and entire planets of castles floating in the void of space. This is the most beautiful dark ride ever! And at the end, you corkscrew down this forest of gnomes or something. It's an acid trip, and an acid trip you want to be a part of. Don't miss this beautiful ride!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large pond with a frog statue spitting a jet of water under a large green lantern.

Heading out, I saw these frogs spitting water, so hung out to get photos. It wasn't until I was home that I discovered that the building in the background was Fata Morgana, another dark boat ride. We stuck around and watched this water show for a bit, and then headed out.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Efteling's entrance building rises high, next to a lightpost and hotel in the background.

"European Disneyland" they say of Efteling. And I agree with that claim, but not in the way it might come across. This isn't some brash, colorful, corporate dystopia filled with garish cartoon characters, concrete mountains, and money grabs selling an overpriced experience to insecure parents. Efteling is a take on the level of quality you would expect from Disney's famous fantasy theming, but done through European culture. It's not Disney by Americans for Europeans, it's Disney by Europeans for Europeans. It's the whimsey and magic that you get when you go to Disney as a child (yes I felt it here) but with a touch of class that's so distinctly European and doesn't exist back home. This place is so high quality, from the experiences, the food, and just the general vibe of this magical forest in the southern part of Nederland. It absolutely deserves to be just as famous worldwide as Walt Disney's dream.

I know some of the things I said about certain things here might not make me seem like the typical Efteling fanboy, but rereading what I wrote, it's because I love this place and hold it to a pretty high standard. This is one of the highest quality parks I've been to, hands down. It ended up landing just shy of #4 Islands of Adventure in my park rankings, and had they had a world-class coaster that could go toe to toe with Velocicoaster, it probably would've been ranked even higher.

I was also a little sad they didn't have much in the way of t-shirts. I'd have gladly gotten one to show off my love of this place back at home!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A brick business facade with roller coaster track on the window, the loops frame a statue and a model of Efteling's entrance.

Wanting dinner, John found us a place in this little sleepy town with his fancy working mobile data, and we laughed when we saw the coaster track in the window of this business.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a table sits a blue plate with a burger, some fries, a cup of white fry sauce, and a beer glass.

We sat around for half an hour last night like a couple of goobers waiting on them to bring us a check, only to learn in Nederland, you kind of have to ask for service. We walk into this place, see nobody around, and ask another dining couple how to get served. "Oh," this lady tells me. "They're in the kitchen, you have to knock on the kitchen door."

We're then told that the kitchen is closed for some reason, and they only have burgers, ironically. So these two Americans decide burgers sound good and got a couple, and they were very good! Mine had a ton of toppings on it, not exactly sure I remember what they were, but I liked it! The beer was also strong enough to kill a man.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A packed up flat ride reads "New York Dancer" and features two pods, one is yellow and themed as a New York City taxi. The other is blue.

This town was preparing for some kind of street fair. There were packed up portable rides waiting to be expanded, a beer tent being pitched, and around the corner a band was practicing Entrance of the Gladiators. But amid that, one of said rides caught John's eye. Hailing from New Jersey, he thought it was so funny they had a New York-themed ride all the way out in some random Dutch town he would just happen to come across during their funfair!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A bottle of wine called "le FAT bastard" sits on a table with a paper cup of it and a pack of Stroopaffle.

After this we went to the hotel, but first we went to Albert Hein, Nederland's own grocery store. And I got some French wine with the best name ever, and it's good shit to boot! Also got some Stroopwaffle.

I should buy a bottle of this for Robb Alvey as an apology gift for disagreeing with him.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A roller coaster car with four riders, two back to back, rolls through an inversion of dark red steel track.

UP NEXT: To get to happiness, you have to get through hell! The second country on the trip rears its ugly head as John and I have to run a gauntlet through Belgium on a deadly journey to Plopsaland. And there, we've got Belgian Glee: The Ride, delicious Flemish food, a ride I was dreading turned out to be awesome, and Ride to Happiness sets the stage for the craziest ride I've ever had on a roller coaster.

Benelux 2025 Region Trip://Leg 1~ Earth, Windmills, and Fire

          Date:5/17/2025-5/28/2025

Destination: Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg

Goal: Coasters, Culture

Distance: 4079 Miles

Means of Travel: Flight

Potential Credits: 39

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A windmill extends four latticed wooden blades from a colorful painted hub.

"You're too basic to leave Ohio," they said. "You're missing out, quit being a pussy and get amongst it," I was told. And in the face of awful, gatekeepy behavior from members of the CoasterForce forums, I packed my shit onto a plane and went to Sweden and Denmark last summer. And it was one of the best, most memorable experiences of my life. Traveling for coasters was not new, going internationally (even overseas) was something I had been around all my life, but getting to do something I love that much in beautiful Sweden got me hooked. I wanted to do more coasters overseas, much more.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A logo reading "BENELUX 2025" with the X being made up of a windmill, and three green and orange tulips in the corner. Below the windmill it reads "#Benelux2025."

My bucket list has all kinds of cool places on it, but not all of those places have the coaster caliber you find in Scandinavia. So I figured I'd pick the next place I wanted to go based on their parks, as I couldn't pick from any other criteria. Between Untamed, Kondaa, Ride to Happiness, and amid rumors that Walibi Holland would be adding not one but two dueling Raptor coasters, the Benelux (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg) was practically screaming at me to go enjoy a few beers, see some windmills and castles, and get absolutely wrecked on some very violent, aggressive coasters.

My buddy John, who has done coasters with me as well as a few other shared interests, ended up doing this trip with me. He's even more seasoned as a traveler than myself, with country credits as far away as Southeast Asia. He's been a partner in crime before, but nothing on the scale of this.

Dag 0 / Jour 0

I had been running around like a chicken with its head cut off to get what I needed ready for this trip. New sneakers, a new card reader, new travel tracphone, and I hadn't gotten much rest but there's no rest for the wicked. Eventually, I was able to crash, shower, and go to dinner at Red Robin with my mother where a storm nearly ripped the place apart. But afterwards, I managed to sleep in, finish packing that morning, and my mother left her photography class early to drive me to DAY.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett, a 30 year old man with green eyes and sandy brown hair, sits in an airport terminal wearing glasses, a green Mystic Timbers hoodie, and a green lanyard adorned with yellow sunflowers. 

I love flying out of my home airport since it's so close by. But the downside is that you get through TSA in two minutes and then you're basically killing an hour and a half before you board. So that's what I did, it took forever, but I ended up aboard my flight as planned.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On the tarmac of an airport, two air planes can be seen beyond the blue tip of a wing. One is the green tail with the shamrock insignia of Aer Lingus, the other is an American plane with green snow-capped mountains on the tail.

We landed at my connection in Chicago and seemed to kind of stroll around aimlessly on the tarmac before going to the gate. The pilot told us that a plane was stuck because a lady had gotten up to pee and it couldn't move until she sat down, disrupting a ton of air traffic. Did see this cool American plane though, despite their airline sucking ass.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A plate with a flatbread, a sandwich, cheese cubes, and some pasta sits next to a bowl of red soup.

Upon arrival at ORD, I decided to burn a lounge pass to kick off Benelux 2025 in style. There was pasta, wine and cheese, and other typical airport lounge fare. I had a few drinks at the bar, realized my flight was boarding soon, and hoofed it across a crowded O'Hare to a chaotic terminal full of Dutch people!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Out a window is a plane painted with a Pikachu and a few other Eeveelution Pokemon.

Also saw the Pokemon Eeveelution plane from the bar.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett sits in the aircraft.

Boarding my flight I was told my window seat had been reassigned, a little annoying but at least I was in an aisle and not flying bitch. And I was next to a very nice Dutch couple who chatted a little, so they were very nice.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a blue tray on an airplane traytable sits a TV dinner labeled "PERI PERI CHICKEN," a blue wrapped Cheesecake Brownie, a pat of butter, a dinner roll, and a brown paper packet of silverware.

Hey, did you hear that joke about the airline food? Some standup comic was laughing about how bad it is.

We all know airline food is the worst, and the worse the food, the better the airline. And this was confirmation I was right for liking United, this airline food is ass! The rice in this peri peri chicken was undercooked and had a gritty gravel consistency, the chicken was the same frozen grilled chicken breast in the lounge, and the sauce was like a generic red pepper sauce. But that rice? Blech! I told the flight attendant it was undercooked, but I always have a laugh with them over it if the food is terrible.

Dag 1 / Jour 1

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a cellophane wrapper sits a bagel sandwich with cheese baked over top of it.

After gaming for a bit, I decided to try and sleep, and got 90 minutes of sleep (typical in a night for me), and woke up to warm red sunlight blazing in through the cabin at what would be ungodly hours of the night back home. We were served breakfast of these awesome bagel sandwiches.

When the plane dipped down below the low clouds that perpetually covered the turbines and polders of this country, I got my first glimpse at Nederland for myself. "My god, it's flat," I couldn't help but remark. From the sky, you can usually make out some texturing on the ground, even in the low rolling cornfields of Ohio, but this looks different than even a flight over the Midwest. Someone could've made a cardboard diorama with fake grass and little wind turbines and ditches out of that acrylic water stuff and stuck it outside my window and I wouldn't have known any differently.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a city street sits a large postmodern building that says "Schiphol."

And just like that sequence in Fault In Our Stars, our plane hit the tarmac at Schiphol and that was country number eight for me! I got a flood of texts, including the Welcome to The Netherlands from Boost, and waited for my data to connect so I could hit John up and pick a meeting point.

...and waited. Where is it? I thought, as my new travel phone searched for a signal. Eventually, I just linked to Schiphol internet and found him at baggage claim. From there we hoofed it to Avis to get our rental car, a green Toyota Yaris, and a very jet lagged John took the wheel to our first stop: Zaans Schanse.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Across a shallow ditch under a tree, one can see a Dutch town and green grassy field, with the skyline dominated by a brown windmill and a green windmill.

For those of you who remember my visit to Skansen in Stockholm, this is basically the Dutch equivalent, and it's completely free sans parking. Lots of relocated buildings here, most notably windmills, on a typical flat, grassy Dutch landscape lined with little canals.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wide expanse of flat, green, marshy grass divided by a ditch and water inlet. Multiple windmills can be seen on the water's edge.

I had heard horror stories about Amsterdam's steep stairs, and this creaky, rickety wooden observation tower throws you right into that. You basically have to climb ladders dozens of feet over the wet, grassy mud below. Hang on and watch your step, try not to fall and break your neck if you're nodding off!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett looks into the camera with windblown hair atop a wooden tower, with a wide expanse of grassy polder, ditches, and windmills in the background.

Fortunately, it was worth risking life and limb to come up here for the view. You can see the whole surrounding area!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A green windmill sits on the edge of the water next to a green Dutch-styled cottage. The top level of the windmill has two round windows and a yellow crown, which resemble a smiley face.

John pointed out that this windmill had a smiley face on it. And the second we had a good laugh over this, we knew the jet lag was real. Both of us were overly tired and this was hilarious to us.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Two cyclists ride down a curving bike path through a field of green grass and yellow flowers next to a ditch, with two windmills in the background.

Zaans Schanse has a known overtourism problem, and that was evident with how many tourists were crowding these paths. Many were walking in the bike path. It's a beautiful welcome to Nederland, but don't expect a quiet, lonesome stroll through history like you might get at another outdoor museum.

Some of the windmills were even turning! There was obviously a motor inside but it was cool to see these iconic pieces of machinery and symbols of The Netherlands in action.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a bike path of composite slats and graffiti, sits the muddy, rusty wreckage of a bike, with only the handlebars and front wheel still attached to the frame.

There was a little path around this drawbridge you could take. After watching it raise up and let a boat through, we had a laugh over the random wreckage of a bike just sitting under the bridge.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A low canal with lily pads has several small green cottages set up on its banks, with many trees also in place.

These canal houses were so cute but it was hard waiting for photos that weren't flooded with tourists. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A small green house's garden is vegetated and contains a few watering cans and a set of wooden clogs hung by the door.

People actually live here and it's a real neighborhood, I couldn't do it. The overtourism problem in The Netherlands, and Amsterdam in particular, is glaringly obvious here.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wooden display case says "Zondagse klompen, Sunday clogs" and holds several pairs of wooden shoes ornately painted with traditional Dutch designs, many feature floral patterns.

Wooden you like to know where clogs come from? Most of the buildings here at Zaans Schanse were paid extras, but this clog shop was free. They had so many designs on display. Like many traditions, this is very regional and you can tell where a Nederlander is from by the design and decor of their clogs alone.

This guy also showed us how to make them with these power saws. It takes two hours to make a pair of clogs by hand, five minutes with a machine. This saw relies on having a premade clog loaded into one side, then a control arm reads the profile and directs the other side to cut the same depth around a piece of wood. Going up and down, that produces the outer profile of the clog, then a similar piece of equipment runs a ball cutter around the inner surface to cut that. He then blew into the holes of the clogs and showed us that water would still drip out, and they had to dry for two weeks before someone can wear them.

"Why would you wear shoes of wood?" He told everyone before stepping up onto a crate, showing off the wooden shoes he had worn to operate heavy machinery. "Put two pairs of thick socks on over them, they are very sturdy." And beat his foot with another clog.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: On a shallow canal sits a few green cottages going right up to the water.

After a nightmare trying to pay for the toilet with my credit card, we got on the road. The landscape here was kind of boring, very flat, lot of bridges, lot of wind turbines, and a greenhouse was full of cannabis plants on the side of the road. Not gonna lie, I tried to stay awake to keep John company, but I nodded off more than once.

And it decided there was an unbuckled baby in the back seat because that's where I stuck my camera bag and it set off this horrible alarm in the car. This is even worse than the one in France when Dad took his belt off to get something!

We got to the hotel and I saw something very troubling on social media: a photo of one of the buildings in my apartment complex with flames shooting out the window into the night! The address was not exactly listed, but it said it was in my neck of the woods and it looked like it could be my building. Panicking, I call my mother and ask her to swing by and see if my home and car are still there. She informed me (and I found out through more social media photos) that it was not my home. But tragically, it was close to it, and I instantly felt terrible for these families I see out and about in my neighborhood. The Red Cross is helping them, those injured are being treated, but what happened is terrible. It was troubling information to discover all the way in the Netherlands, I realized in that moment how lucky I was to have an intact home to come home to, and my heart goes out to my neighbors. If it reaches me how to donate to help these families, the link will be going straight onto this blog.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A plate holds a bowl of gravy, a potato cake, and a duck breast atop some green beans.

Upon checking into Fletcher Hotel near Efteling, both of us took a long, much-needed nap. Boost had told me to turn my phone off for twenty minutes and it would fix my mobile data problems, but it didn't work and my frustrated ass just went to sleep. Around 7, we went to thei hotel restaurant and got some damn good duck breast. Perfect after remarking how cute the ducks at Zaans were!

From here, we both went and passed out. Efteling needed us tomorrow, and we were both dead tired.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A large pond with a frog statue spitting a jet of water under a large green lantern.

UP NEXT: Benelux 2025 is off to a magical start at Efteling! I drop a very expensive piece of my equipment right into Max and Moritz's station track, John finds a piece of home in the Netherlands, and one of us hits a milestone credit! Leg 2 is nothing short of a fairy tale!