Date:5/15/2021-5/16/2021
Destination: Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Goal: Dollywood; Rowdy Bear Ridge
Distance: 347 Miles
Means of Travel: Driving
Potential Credits: 2
All offseason, I had been itching to get to Cedar Point. It was my favorite place in the world, I didn't go at all in 2020, god I missed the place! Steel Vengeance, the lake, the seagulls, the food, Millennium, Maverick, Frontier Trail, Blue Streak, the country drive up, Magnum, hell I was even itching to get on Rougarou for some reason! So I asked Drew if he wanted to go to opening weekend and he was down. But it drew closer, I got nervous, I remembered it can be kind of...rocky on opening weekend, and made a call. I had purchased a season pass to Dollywood last season since it would be good through June of this year, and while we waited on Jersey Devil and Pantheon and those coasters to open up, I remembered that they had just done work on two of their coasters, plus there's always a few credits to be had in the Great Smokey Mountains with the fast growing popularity of alpine coasters, this was a no brainer. So we elected to let them wait outside Steel Vengeance and wait an hour for food while we went to one of my favorite parks, one that's been running like clockwork since they reopened: Dollywood!
The night before, Ohio had lifted its mask mandate along with Kentucky, and we knew Tennessee had done the same thing recently, filling me with hope that I could got to Dollywood and not have to fuck with masking up. I could have gotten on the road early...but my parents used to have a tradition of eating out on Friday night. So I elected to just do asscrack of dawn the next day and enjoy a nice Admiral's Feast at Red Lobster to wind down after the work week. I've been counting calories, running/biking, and practicing intermittent fasting to shed some of this quarantine weight, but I threw that to the wind tonight since this was such a special dinner. Meanwhile, Drew was supposed to be at my place to crash on the couch and base out of my place that night at 8:30...he got there at 10. Classic Drew, late as usual!
Day 1
I regained consciousness at 5:10 am...and realized while laying there that I hadn't made Dollywood reservations! I reserved a spot, darted out, woke Drew up, and told him to buy his pass and make a reservation RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!! So we scrambled to punch in pass numbers and credit card numbers and captcha on the app to get reservations should we need them, and then got on the road!
We made terrible time on the drive down. First we selected a walk-in local donut place (which makes the best donuts ever) for breakfast, then we needed to find a place to get napkins for Drew because his allergies started bothering him, then we ended up stopping in Kentucky to get gas before potentially driving into a gas shortage on an empty tank. But from there, I floored it to Dollywood and we didn't put our feet on the ground until we were in the Dollywood parking lot. We were here! And no mask needed per the CDC or State of Tennessee!
Oh yeah. And we rode the tram with a Qanon nutjob asking if Dollywood trafficked children like Disney did.
Last year I came during the Food and Flower Festival and instantly fell in love with this event, especially after the park had opened back up after being locked down and seeing all this theming regarding flowers blooming after the rain. Coming back and not needing to wear a mask, I don't know how intentional it was but damn it hit home! "When Life Is Good Again," the beautiful song Dolly did for the pandemic, this is what she was singing about. "And it'll be good again?" People were strolling the midways without masks, I was vaccinated and felt like I was safe and wouldn't die or give it to someone that couldn't protect themselves, it was good again. This was that time, and today was that moment!
Drew straight up laughed at me when I asked him where he wanted to head first. I mean, who wouldn't just go right to Lightning Rod? Park had been open for a few hours by the time, it was nice and warmed up, and most importantly, it was operational. The line was a good hour wait and stretched all the way to the outdoor cattlepen at the base of the station building, but we got a good look at the coaster, now metalized with all-steel I-box track on every layout section clearly visible from the ground. The station track and parts of the turns in and out are wooden, but the launch, quad down, and non-inverting half loop were all steel. Before we knew it, we were snaking through the queue and up to the second floor, where we were grouped and sent up to the platform! It was time to ride!
...Hot. Damn.
I see the concern that it was "slowed down." I get it. I felt something slow the train down at the top of the first hill, reducing that first camelback to a little pop of floater in the front, but beyond that, this ride still hauls ass! The wave turn, outside top hat, and twist 'n' shout all gave me the same killer air I've grown to know and love on this ride, plus it's roughened up nicely just like Outlaw Run. You still feel a few nooks and bumps along the way, as opposed to glass smooth I-box track. It still very much feels like a wooden coaster, and it remains wooden that entire back half of the valley. Only when it enters the quad down does it switch over to steel, which you barely notice. The quad down , hop after, and finale are just as insane as they've always been, it's still the same ride! Nothing feels slower, it doesn't feel neutered at all, it's just a consistently awesome thing now. I never saw it down, and if it does what it's supposed to, riding Lightning Rod will go from something you might get to do here to a staple for any trip to Dollywood.
Looking to gas up during this gas shortage, we ended up going for the Festival Pass and tasting the food offerings, starting with this delicious paella! Sitting room was taken, but we set up shop on these masonry posts and chowed down. My dad makes this dish and his usually has rice crusted to the pan, called soccarrat, in it, whereas this was more of a Spanish rice with chicken and sausage. Still delicious, though!
Have I mentioned how much I love the Food and Flower Festival? This artwork is front and center where the big fountain used to be in Market Square, but I just now realized it was supposed to be Dolly's mother making her Coat of Many Colors...
We tried to hit Dragonflyer next, since Drew needed the credit, but the wait was an hour, so we went to try out the second place where lightning struck in 2021: Mystery Mine! In the offseason, Mystery Mine's horseshoe curve was removed (or rather disconnected from the layout, the actual element structure still stands) and replaced with a left-hand wild mouse turn followed by a steep dip. Someone blew chunks while we were in line for this (seems to be a tradition when I travel with this kid, regardless if he was the puker or not) so they had to clean up and that ate up ten minutes of time, but we got on and got to ride it!
Aaaaand change is good! Mystery Mine is very much a "hit or miss" coaster for me, I love the theme and I've gotten fun rides, but also gotten really painful rides on this quirky coaster. But this ride was pretty good, minus the nut shot I took on the restraint coming into the brakes of course. That new drop is crazy and I didn't hit my head once. Shame about the unique horseshoe turn but based on rumors I'd heard about it, it might have been a good idea to get rid of it anyway.
While the actual horseshoe element was just cut and left, one other thing I noticed was the removal of the wood trestle supports on this element here, which I assumed was done for Christmas but it wasn't back for some reason.
Ignore the shitty (well, shittier than usual) photography, I was 18 and trying to be artsy with a point and shoot, but this is what it used to look like.
Thunderhead was our next victim, and a favorite of mine as far as this park goes. Drew didn't like his first ride on it, but my most recent one back in November showed me that this coaster's still got it. The verdict? It's held strong since! Got some really good air over each one of those hops no problem, and with my new slightly slimmed down figure for this season, I had room to get tossed around! I still love this coaster and Drew now loves this coaster!
Heading back down the hill, we decided to get some more food. I went for the classic lobster roll while Drew elected for a more conservative spinach and artichoke dip. I love Dollywood's lobster rolls, the lobster tastes fresh and not out of a can or anything, and they serve it in these nice buns that are actually New England-style top sliced. The blood orange lemonade and salt and vinegar chips served with it were also pretty damn good!
Well, we could have continued on, but decided to take another spin on Lightning Rod because why the hell not? I was surprised it was operating consistently and not going down at all, pretty unusual for my trips here as I've never been and had it stay up the whole time. But it was fine and we rode it and rode it in the front, where it doesn't have quite as much airtime but the ride is way more aggressive, feels way faster, and rides smoother than the back while still tossing you around pretty nicely. New favorite seat on this coaster!
After Lightning Rod, we decided to just go around the loop again, this time to do Wild Eagle and take another stab at Dragonflyer.
Wild Eagle was first of the two, and I was thrilled to not only fit into the coaster, but fit into a normal row! I needed a bit of a shove (probably could have gotten it myself if I tried) but it wasn't nearly as tight as it was back in November when I last rode this and literally needed my fat ass jammed into it. Now that my quarantine weight is all gone, I was good to fly like an eagle, and do so comfortably! This has always been the underrated wing coaster in my eyes. You hear about Thunderbird's intensity and near misses, you hear about GateKeeper's view and keyholes...and rattle, you hear about X-flight's rattle, but this is one that stays pretty low key. It has the least "wing coaster" layout of all of them, but you can't deny that the layout and its location are incredible. I love flying above that valley with the blue mountain peaks on the horizon!
Over to Wildwood Grove next, Dragonflyer's wait had gone from an hour to twenty minutes. Drew was worried about waiting for it, but I told him that it was better gotten later in the day, after parents had taken all their screaming kids home. I love this little suspended coaster for some reason, it's smooth and the layout packs a nice punch. Flying out of that tunnel and into that overbank against the water fountains is amazing for some reason, not sure why. But Dragonflyer is a coaster I wish there were more of, I like this a lot better than the kiddie hang 'n' bang we have back at home.
You can fight me on this all you want, but Wildwood Grove is easily just as impressive as Magic Kingdom's Fantasyland or Adventureland, bar the level of theming on the coasters. It's a beautiful area that's sure to be magical and immersive for children with some nice attention to detail all around. Now build another at Silver Dollar City!
Oh yeah. Food. We're at Dollywood and we hadn't eaten in two hours so we needed to be fat and change that, you should never fit into the coasters as well as we were fitting into them at a park with food like this. We went to this place that had wings (Drew is a spicy food enthusiast so he was in heaven) and I got these bulgogi nachos...and failed to realize that I was getting myself into some serious heat as well! My nose was running, eyes watering, and Drew is just sitting over there gnawing on these Caribbean Jerk wings like it's no problem as I struggled not to down my strawberry lemonade. They were delicious, I left some nachos because I ran out of toppings, but my god they were spicy!
With the sun going down we decided to go snag some cinnamon bread and a belated Mothers' Day gift for my mom. Cinnamon bread was fine, even got my dad some pecan syrup for Fathers' Day as well...but my gift for mom didn't go as well. I chose to dip her a lighthouse candle, she loves lighthouses, why wouldn't this be a good gift? Well just as I'm ringing it out, the sweet old Dollywood lady is wrapping it up as Drew just bursts out laughing from behind me, as I watched in horror as her present took the form of a wrapped up adult toy! I begged to put this in package pickup so I didn't have to carry something so phallic around the park, but it was past time, so I discreetly slipped it into a shopping bag and pretended there was nothing wrong with the way this looked when wrapped. Then I continued to walk around the park, question my life choices, and ponder how I could possibly look my mother in the eye and tell her I love her as I deliver her a gift that looks like this.
With 8 fast approaching, Drew and I took our spots at the bottom of Lightning Rod's queue for Last Ride of the Night on Lightning Rod, or LROTNOLR. Front seat, almost completely empty train, HOLY SHIT this thing flies after being warmed up all day! Not a night ride, but a nice quiet one to close the day out! Shout out to the ride crew for giving us the front! You guys killed it today!
After this we hit the hotel room, I got some drinks on ice, and we both got into our cinnamon bread. I ordered the Steel Vengeance squishmallow at 1 in the morning while overly tired and on sleep medication and passed out...not realizing I spent $40 on a fucking plush toy. Oops! Ah well, at least it's cool!
Day 2
Not needing to deal with a 6 hour commute to the park the next morning, we got up and headed to Dollywood for a few more rides, bites, and photos!
One thing I like about Dollywood is that they don't have the running of the bulls. You calmly walk to the ride of your choice and wait patiently in a line before it opens. Ya know, like an adult? And not sprinting there and knocking other people down? So I like gate crashing at Dollywood, like a lot.
One of the first rides of the day, this time was in the back, and sadly, the worst of the four we managed to snag on this trip. The ride was a bit rougher than it was the day before, and Drew wouldn't get his elbows out of my face and whacked me in the face! However, it just added to the edginess of the experience and I still enjoyed it!
We wanted to try the fish and chips yesterday and Drew had two complementary charges for the festival from his new season pass, so I just shelled out for them and he got some. These are so good! Mine were fresh from early in the day and they hit this out of the park! Not as good as the lobster roll but a good second behind it!
I took a few photos on the way back to Tennessee Tornado, I'm still learning to shoot totally in manual (hence some of the cooler light and diffraction in some of these photos) but these came out good I felt!
My Tennessee Tornado photos were trash but we got a good ride on it! I love this as a new generation Arrow, it's got some good edge to it without outright beating the hell out of you as some of the more outdated Arrow loopers sometimes do. This thing comes into the brakes pretty hot, so when I yelled "brace!" to remind Drew to hang on, it was too late and he got slammed into his restraint basically the moment I said it.
Heading out of the park, I remembered one thing we had planned to do but didn't: Chasing Rainbows! I had never done the Dolly Parton museum at the front of the park, so we went to check it out. There was some cool stuff in the museum, but this is what stood out to me the most. Dolly's Coat of Many Colors, the original one that her mom made her, the very one from the song, is on display here! Plenty of cool things here, but this was by far my favorite.
Other things on display here include items from Dr. Robert F. Thomas, awards she's won, her clothing, and a little thing on Dolly's Imagination Library which includes copies of two children's books she's written. All my years coming here I had never stopped to see this, and it's incredibly cool. If you have any level of interest in Dolly, from die hard fan of her music to just someone like me that sees her as a good person and role model, check this out. It was cool to see so many items tied to the life of someone that does so much positivity in such an ugly world.
On the way out, Drew dragged me into this sweets shop on Showstreet and forced me to get this frozen cheesecake on a stick? I was already stuffed, but he insisted, so I got it. It was absolutely delicious, kind of like an ice cream and cheesecake hybrid, but I ended up waddling out of the park full to the point I was uncomfortable! But that's all in a day's work at the park that regularly cleans up the Golden Ticket Award for best food!
On the way out, I realized I've been coming to Dollywood since I was 14, my first trip being 2008 with my parents as a kid. I've seen it grow and change a lot, from a cute little theme park in the mountains with some good rides to a property that's going in more of a Disney World direction in addition to the thrill ride market. Here we have a place that's beautiful everywhere you look where cute family memory factories like Wildwood Grove and FireChaser Express can exist alongside big, bad world class roller coasters like Lightning Rod and Thunderhead, each equally good at being what it is. Food is good, the park is literally known for its live entertainment, the craft demos are cool and unique, what doesn't this place have? And I got to spend the weekend here riding Lightning Rod on the regular while everyone at Cedar Point complained and flamed each other on social media with the occasional Steel Vengeance ride.
I won here. I so made the right choice coming here and waiting on Cedar Point to sort out its issues before paying them a visit. I love that park, it's my favorite place in the world, actually. But I think this weekend, I had more fun at a park that I once knew as a little Cracker Barrel tourist attraction with a few coasters than I would have at America's coaster capital.
But I wasn't about to come all this way and not get credits!
Every time I come here, I seem to think I had every credit in Pigeon Forge bar something or another, and right when I think I got all of them, something else pops up. Usually these rides are alpine coasters, which are pretty fun, and make for good excuses to come back. But this time, the excuse to come back was two credits! Rowdy Bear Ridge, the sister property to Gatlinburg's Rowdy Bear Mountain, was something I drove past last time I was here, with a sort of suspended coaster, but I never looked into it until this trip. Turns out, Rowdy Bear Ridge had two credits: a suspended coaster with laser gun shooting and a powered coaster! So we headed to Parkway, braved the usual weekend traffic, and came across this funny little hillside blanketed with strange contraptions.
Laser Gun Coaster was first, made up of of a single rail in a hairpin layout with two-seater suspended cars hanging below it from a pivot point, allowing them to swing around the turns. You're given a laser gun to shoot at targets along the course, similar to a shooting dark ride.
That's probably the weirdest coaster in the Smokies, not gonna lie. The suspended zip rail at Rowdy Bear Mountain is downright terrifying, swinging you around violently as you dangle by a handlebar and harness. This barely gets any speed going, once you get some it stops you, and it almost feels more like a constant speed ride with a few coaster sections in between straightaways than a seamless coaster. The rocking spooked me a bit, you're probably 10-20 feet off the ground at most with this but it rocks forward and backwards in addition to side to side, leading to some uneasy tipping forward in my seat. I absolutely sucked at the laser gun here, don't think I hit a single target except for the one I had a clear shot at at the end. It's a weird ride but one worth doing for that reason alone.
We got in line for Power Coaster next, which had these strange dune buggy-themed cars running on what appeared to be standard Wiegand Alpine Coaster track, complete with air-filled rubber tires contacting the rails. I knew nothing about it, but was surprised at a very unique feature when I sat down in it.
The ride op showed me this little throttle on the driver's side restraint, one that could control the speed of this coaster! I had never seen that before and I thought it was brilliant!
The ride itself was pretty awesome. I opened the throttle the whole way and just let it take the course at max speed, there's some pretty good moments here! Even an airtime hill over the tunnel and some of that good downhill slalom action that we know and love from Wiegand. It's the only one of its kind in the world we were told, and it's a very enjoyable, unique little family coaster that's worth the trip here if you're in the area.
And what's this? I got POV footage of both coasters to hold you over before you can make it there yourself!
After this we hit the road and drove back to Dayton, wanting to make it home at a reasonable time, but I had a lot of fun! Got two credits and got to ride two great coasters in an equally good but reimagined state, one that'll keep those coasters around for years to come.
It's been fun but now it's time to hit the road!
