Iron Curtain 2026 Region Trip://Leg 7~The Adventurer's Club Of Europa Park's Newest Members

                          Date:4/25/2026-5/6/2026

Destination: Poland, Germany

Goal: Energylandia, Phantasialand, Europa Park, Poland Culture, Germany Culture

Distance: 4700 Miles

Means of Travel: Flying, Train, Tour Bus

Potential Credits: 40

Day 8

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A twisted black coaster with copper supports sends a short, gray winged train reading "VOLTRON" on the front in gold letters out of an Immelmann loop and into launch stators.

Again, another early morning. While I would have loved nothing more than to sip coffee in our zimmer with rye bread and cold cuts, we had another early train to catch today, and this time, to the penultimate park on the trip: Golden Ticket Award-winning Europa Park. Multiple Golden Tickets, actually, including the reigning Best Amusement Park.

The train journey this morning was a treacherous one, but everything went just fine. Bacharach to Mainz, Mainz to Mannheim, Mannheim to Offenburg, Offenburg to Ringsheim, and a bus to Europa. And as awful as this sounds, the whole thing was only slated to take about three hours. And with two days set aside for the park and an additional half flex day, we were able to kind of breathe and ride the rails with it.

They had a hilarious little Spencer's corner in the back with bachelorette party things. This is a relatively tame offering on the shelf, but if Hallmark sold some of the things here in the States, the grandmothers buying Precious Moments dolls would have a stroke. And even worse? The Billy Bass they sold didn't sing in German like I hoped it would!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A traytable on a train holds a paper bucket of curry and a Starnberger Hell beer bottle.

10 am curry and beer? No problem! This Thai curry, which was vegetarian, was kind of the special aboard DB's ICE trains while we were here, so I tried it. Not bad, and the beer was actually great! We ended up talking to a woman about how boring Germany was at the train station, then caught our ride to the Ringsheim platform and hopped on our last bus.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Out a bus window is a twisted black roller coaster on copper supports.

Hello, Voltron! Last major rankings shaker upper on the trip, we've made it! 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Drew and Jarrett smile and put their hands up in two stationary coaster seats, with an upside-down bus station ad for Europa Park behind them.

Well would you look at that? Mack actually put coaster seats out at the bus stop as seating! Much as I was sick of lugging all our crap around, I contemplated walking to our zimmer and dropping it. Don't mess with this at Europa Park, there are luggage lockers that held all our things no problem. Drew went to the can while I locked our bags up and we were all set.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A green industrial arch with a vaulted glass face reads "EUROPA PARK" in yellow letters with three stars.

Hello, Europa Park! Adventure Club of Europe, you've got two new members who've earned their place amid your ranks.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A park entrance midway is decorated with different German architectures, with flags representing their regions.

Instantly, I saw why this place is so special. A whopping eighteen countries are represented at Europa Park, and of course you enter through the host nation Germany. If I was reading right, this was somewhat International Street style, in that each building on this midway is the architecture of a different German region. I recognized both the Germanic architecture of Berlin with their flag, and a Bavarian maypole with Bayer's signature white and blue checker pattern.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An Italian renaissance plaza with striped poles coming out of a blue water feature.

Didn't even play around with it, we went right to Voltron, but not without stopping in Italy to show Keely that midway.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black steel roller coaster does a roll off the top of a building roof over a wall with two Croatian flags, a large Tesla Coil sits atop the white Balkan building.

Welcome to the electric age!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett and Drew pose with a man in a cartoon goat costume wearing a red Switzerland shirt.

Voltron! Europa Park even sent their mascots to the plaza for the time being, it was like the park's ambassadors greeted us.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A tall, truss tower with a copper ball and electrical coil atop it stands next to a black steel coaster launching vertically into a loop on a beige Adriatic sandstone building's rooftop.

This coaster was kind of the final boss of our adventure. And honestly, from afar, even seeing reviews and videos of it, it didn't feel like a real ride. The concept, over the top energy (no pun intended), and creative theme always made this feel more like a NoLimits passion project, it wasn't even until I was walking under that free electricity tower and crazy inverted launch that it really hit me that this was a real ride that existed, let alone one I'd be riding.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A rusty turbine over a water feature filled with coins, with a sandstone ruin in the background with a red banner reading "ADVENTURE CLUB OF EUROPE" and a relevant logo.

Voltron has the best queue ever, even have the hydroelectric turbines that we saw in Canada that Tesla worked on. You'll walk around War of the Currents era equipment, including a spinning water tunnel like Universal had on Poseidon.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Nikola Tesla animatronic stands at the center of some lab equipment, including a plug with glowing wires.

Indoors, however, is where the magic begins. One of my engineering idols, Nikola Tesla, has his animatronic on display welcoming you to the electric age in his ruined lab, filled with hot, crude electrical equipment. 

Drew and I are just chilling in the cattlepen when a loud buzz jars both of us, almost to the point of needing a change of pants. Was it a fire alarm or something? No! Four massive Tesla coils that hung overhead, which I assumed were just theming, started dropping a banger for some reason out of the blue. Video doesn't do it justice, these were very loud and very powerful-feeling. Everyone in the queue applauded, best queue ever.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A roller coaster with black track and copper supports dives down to a clear blue water feature around a white limestone Croatian ruin, against rocks in the water.

This coaster is nuts! You turn from the moving station into a crackly dark ride segment before the train is bounced on a track similar to Winjas, before launching straight up and over like an astronaut. After some sick hangtime, you drop just enough to gain the speed to whip through the following inversion. From there, it’s an outright mess of obscenely tight transitions and the most violent airtime you will ever experience. The swing launch and turntable were a little weird, and I wish more had been done with that back spike, but the second half is just as good as the first and it’s cool twisting through those Adriatic ruins towards the end.

I took a few content runs until I finally lucked out and got that elusive front row seat! Best seat on the coaster, it charges into these elements with so much gusto you can't help but feel like it's in fast forward, not to mention the liberating seating position.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black roller coaster has a twisting layout with two short, winged trains twisting around palm trees and Adriatic ruins.

Was it going to dramatically alter my rankings? Absolutely. That being said, I had no idea how. While I absolutely love it and it does so many things very right, I do think the layout feels somewhat repetitive and blends together, same issue I have with Steel Vengeance. It’s incredible, but I’m not sure how incredible.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A coaster does a small overbank in scruffy landscaping of white limestone and Mediterranean trees.

They also have this nice little walkthrough the ride’s area and even up the ruins for views of this beautiful ride!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wild mouse coaster careens from out of a stone tower.

Two credits awaited us in Switzerland, one of which was a wild mouse with cute theming. Matterhorn Blitz had an adorable queue with old school animatronics and a weird elevator lift for some reason, and I feel like it’s taller than your average mouse. Fun ride though, those steep, zippy little drops are great with the added height.

We backtracked a bit and found the beautiful Cancan Coaster, themed after my family's native France. Unlike anything at Busch Gardens Williamsburg, they nailed it! It feels so Parisian, both in the cluttered elegance of the queue and the Melies-inspired art that glowed in the spaghetti bowl.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Across a water feature with flowers in the foreground is a small boat restaurant and a few facades in front of a white geodesic sphere.

Europa Park also hit it out of the water with France in general. This felt like a very sincere, accurate portrayal of Paris right down to the smallest details, it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A display holds photos of a Swiss bobsled on a Sochi 2014 track, a blue bobsled, and a cardboard cutout of a man in a small stone nook.

The other Switzerland credit up for grabs was a rare Mack bobsled called Schweizer Bobban, German for Swiss Bobsled. And like Reptilian in the States, it’s fun! Love leaning on the turns, wish some manufacturer would revive this concept because it’s great. They also had a cool display about how Mack helped design the bobsled for the 2014 Olympics in Sochi.

Starving, we went to the park's famous roller coaster restaurant: Food Loops! Which serves spaghetti bowls, of course. But it's how they serve them: you order on a touch screen, it's prepared, and an elevator lift raises it to the top of a rail system on which it twists, turns, corkscrews, and even does a vertical loop on the way to your table. The concept is lowkey dangerous, I wanted to keep ordering one more beer just to see this thing in action again, it's great! Affordable, too.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A small windmill with a red tower and white sails turns over a field of tulips.

After a particularly rough ride for him, Drew wasn’t ready to risk his motion sickness, so after I found something mild to do. “There's a family spinner called Euro-Mir not far. There’s a dark ride over here in The Netherlands, if you want to do it. It’s called Pirates of Batavia.”

The second I mentioned pirates he was all in.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A few building rooftops of green and stucco, with a rope bridge running between them, and a large blue and gold conical roof in the background.

They got the Netherlands midway nailed! I always wanted to do something like Zaans Schans in Planet Coaster 2 and they got the little green cottages nailed.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A cardboard cutout of a dashing pirate in an unbuttoned puffy shirt with a "PIRATEN IN BATAVIA" logo and otter dressed as a pirate, with Drew's face through the face cutout.

Looking for sexy Polish pirate wench with major booty willing to shiver me timbers to be swipin’ starboard. Definitely not into hookhands.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A brick Dutch Colonial office reads "Piraten in Batavia" under a large mosaic of a ship wheel, with several pirate-themed props strewn about the entrance.

This is great! I know the OG ride sadly burned a few years back, so I can’t say whether this is better or not, but it’s very very good what’s there. This is like Pirates of the Caribbean but better! You can even smell the niter in the magazine, the cinnamon in the Javanese village, and the end has a nice Epcot-style peek through a restaurant.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue roller coaster wrapping around a series of blue mirrored towers sends a teal train down a dive.

With Drew now recovered, another coaster that’ll be relocated to the Great Theme Park In The Sky for 2027, along with Thunderation and Kumba: Euro Mir. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Under a blue roller coaster doing hairpins around a series of blue mirrored cylindrical towers, a white space station adorned with solar panels and the letters "MNP" in Cyrillic sits under a glass awning.

This mild spinning coaster had a really cool Cosmonaut theme and the queue runs under the Mir Space Station trainer. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue roller coaster wraps around a series of five blue, mirrored cylindrical towers.

The ride itself starts with a trippy disco lift hill, but beyond that, I felt it just kind of meandered around, relying on those mirrored blue towers for disorientation instead of actual spinning. Fun ride, though.

I come from a family that was way into space, with two engineering parents who grew up during the Space Race. I remember when they knocked the Mir Space Station out of the sky as a kid (and the target Taco Bell put in the ocean for it to hit,) so this ride retirement had a bit of a childhood callback for me.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A red Russian styled arch with gold and blue onion domes.

Can’t help but feel like replacing this will also mean replacing the Russia midway as well. Could they turn this area into Ukraine and theme the replacement after their cybersecurity industry? Would be the ultimate insult to injury!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue coaster train rolls out of a zero-g roll from behind a rock, with piney foliage in the foreground.

We then made a bee line for Iceland and hit Blue Fire, the prototype Mack LSM coaster that paved the way for favorites of mine such as Helix and Ride to Happiness. And while it's a cool coaster with an original theme...this ain't it. Clearly the worst Mack LSM coaster, I felt like it missed every single airtime element, though I'll give credit where credit's due that the snapping elements were very well executed. But this is okay! The first one should not be the best almost twenty years later.

Looking for more credits in “take what we can get” mode faced with an imminent park closing, we made a bee line for Arthur when we stumbled on this little powered mine train in Austria. I have a soft spot for these rides, they aren’t the most dynamic but they’re cute and make for good experiences when worked into a scene, and this was no different.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An indoor park section with a cottagecore vibe, and buildings made from toadstools and tree roots.

Arthur! Pronounced “are-TOOR” like in the name Arturo, not Arthur the aardvark, this ride takes its theme from a somewhat obscure 2000s animated film. I remember my dad suggested maybe seeing it on a snow day while seeing the ad in the newspaper but we never saw it, I’d never heard of it again until they built this, and I honestly thought it was weird to go sinking this much money into a 10 year old IP nobody remembers that produced one film. Maybe it was a bigger deal here?

Speaking of bigger, Arthur and the Minimoys appears to be somewhat of a Honey I Shrunk The Kids sorta plot. First scene of the ride is shrinking you down in some kid’s lawn, then you go around a Lilliputian set of dark ride scenes immersing you in a world where everything is big and you’re tiny. There was a weird Times Square with bugs scene which was kind of weird, but seriously, this ride is beautiful. Reminds me of ET but with a fun coaster section flying around the trees over a creek.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett smiles and gives a thumbs up next to a woman in a German dress and a man in Lederhosen walking on stilts beneath a monorail track.

Park was closing, so we were good noodles and headed out. Good night, Europa Park! See you tomorrow!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A plate with a large kebab sandwich stuffed with kebab meat and onions.

Drew and I went back, freshened up, and checked into our guest house, and then found one of Europe’s famous late night kebab places for dinner.

Day 9

Rise and shine! We walked to the park, snagging some coffee and pastries along the way. Drew kinda stormed out of the French patisserie while I was ordering, when I asked him why, he felt the old French lady was being crabby with him for ordering in German, whereas I got more polite service from the younger barista ordering in French. Told him that no, it was not personal, elderly French women are just like that.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A queue line lobby with statues of a man and a woman and a statue of a plane.

Voletarium was our first ride today, and my second ever flying theater despite loving this concept. Love the queue for this!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A simple bench with seatbelts and seat dividers hangs beneath a fiberglass wing in a darkened theater.

“No GoPro!” The employee wagged his finger at me. So I turned it off and left it at that, not sure why but you can’t film on this. But it’s incredible! You fly over Europe, to some gorgeous music, and watch the scenery disappear under your feet.

Only complaint was the cranky woman next to us shushing me for yelling Drew I was taking Keely somewhere on the film in a normal conversational tone. It’s a flying theater, not the latest Christopher Nolan 3 hour mind melt!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A rotating loading platform themed as an Italian renaissance crypt, with a chandelier of skeletons holding candles.

Casa Dei Medici was our next stop, which we just kinda ran into. It's a beautiful Haunted Mansion knockoff with a little Italian spice thrown in, taking you through a creepy and macabre Italian Renaissance castle, where true to Italian values, they're just dying to have you for a feast!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A silver model of a zeppelin features a red flag with a white circle and simple black + symbol.

After this, we headed to their observation tower, which had this cool theming and a Hindenburg model in the queue. Notice what is not on the tail. 

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An aerial view of Europa Park's Paris midway, with several French buildings and a Moulin Rouge surrounding a white geodesic sphere, with a silver B&M hyper in the background.

Probably my favorite one of these ever built, mostly because the park you get to see is beautiful and the queue is nice and decked out.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A pavilion has a monorail track running under a roof, with a mural of the Monte Carlo coast and flags reading "MONACO."

We headed to Silver Star next, the anchor attraction of the new Monaco area. And while I didn’t care for the coaster much, I loved the theming here. The idea is supposed to be the Grand Prix on the Mediterranean coast, and while I think they just repurposed a building, it's a unique take to add a tiny country with character.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A silver B&M hyper rises over a park gate, with a domed building decorated in trusses and flags.

Ops on this thing run like a real Grand Prix pit crew, they are very fast and very efficient. Sadly, however, the ride wasn't it for me. I felt like there was just a major lack of airtime, like Mako if Mako didn't do anything. And I am not an airtime extremist when it comes to these rides, my favorite one is Raging Bull.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett stands on a racing podium and shakes a bottle of water like champagne.

I had to reenact Dad’s champagne photo from his racing days!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A baroque-styled queue line with various Phantom of the Opera props, and masks adorning the walls.

Drew wanted to do Phantom of the Opera next, so that’s what we did. Honestly, while I love the VR concept, I feel like this took it too far. You and your buddies have to walk around the ride preshow as avatars, and the placement wasn’t 100% accurate, so I bumped a few people. And you have to load into the ride in a VR headset, which was awkward. And most terrifying: engaging the lift I felt something bump my elbow, which was neatly folded in my lap and well within the clearance envelope, no telling what would’ve happened had it been further out!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A coaster train themed as an iron and gold-plated Pegasus.

We got the +1 for Pegasus, which had the most epic train ever.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table holds a bowl of beef stew over mashed potatoes and a bottle of Carlsberg, with a red rapids boat in the water out the window.

After another spin on Voltron, it was lunch time, so I took Drew back to Scandinavia to eat at their little Nordic harbor pub. This is a cute place to eat, they had my favorite Nordic beer and Goulash that we enjoyed while watching Fjord Rafting do its thing.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A channel carries a tilted rapids boat downstream, past a row of Nordic houses hanging fish nets out the windows.

And speaking of, it was time to Fjord Raft ourselves! Unable to do much with my bag, Drew wore the GoPro as I protected my camera under a rain poncho in my lap, splashing amid cliffs with trolls and the like. This is a great rapids, and worked great with the spot of dreary weather we had! Water was super cold, but I guess it’s just theming in Scandinavia?

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A wooden coaster weaves along its queue over water, with rails made of metal.

We then hit Wodan Timburcoaster, one of two major coasters here that isn’t Mack, and this ride is nuts! Great queue theming especially for a wooden coaster, and the ride is aggressive as hell. It’s like Gold Striker with a station fly through, but I still think I prefer Striker over this. That being said, the Titan Track helps it conserve so much momentum I feel. Now that it's not bumping and clattering around, the end of the ride felt like it was coming in a bit hotter than designed.

And afterwards, we had one of these stupid things. Atlantica Supersplash, a pirate-themed clone of that stupid Journey to Atlantis at SeaWorld San Antonio.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A blue roller coaster twists around over a water feature, surrounded by Greek buildings, with a boat splashing down in front of one of the facades.

Then we rode the good water coaster at this park, Poseidon lowkey slaps. Not exactly a cinematic narrative but there’s theming and some coaster segments of substance. 

Fluch De Kassandra was right there, so we did the Greek-themed Vekoma Madhouse. I love these rides, it’s an easy, inexpensive way to create a beautiful themed experience with a fun twist. And while the unusual theme of this one was unique…Kassandra violated us both! This thing has butt wigglers, and not the quick jump scare kind. No, the weird tentacle things were slowly dragging across my ass as I ugly laughed in sheer discomforted terror. Least it made for a hilarious video!

There was also some Atlantis dark shooter we did that wasn't that good and reminded me of a Putt Putt course.

We also picked up the credit for that sheep kiddie coaster around here, completing the lineup.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An Indonesian-themed restaurant features a curve of boat flume through the dining area, with a pirate ship making the turn.

Plan for dinner was to reride Pirates of Batavia and eat at the restaurant after. I love the EPCOT vibes here, both as a diner and a rider.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table has eggrolls and two bowls of noodles on it, overlooking a setup like an Indonesian temple in a tiered dining room.

“Sure, I’ll take some edamame,” I ordered from the Indonesian restaurant over my noodles. And with the lack of heat, I asked for some red chili peppers too. Turns out, it was not edamame, those were wasabi peas I had asked for. Needless to say, I enjoyed this sweating bullets!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Nordic village hangs the flags of Finland, Denmark, and Sweden.

We headed back to Scandinavia next for Snouri Touren, the last thing worth doing here. Honestly, it felt small, crammed in, and kind like a low budget commercial for Rulantica. This being said, it's adorable and I did like it.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An aerial shot of a black and copper roller coaster built into Croatian ruins, decorated with two copper domes atop truss towers. The German countryside in the background.

Last ride of the trip? Voltron, obviously! We sat down, buckled in, and embraced it: last ride of Iron Curtain 2026 was nigh! And man oh man, was it great! I'd been going back to this thing both days we'd been here for content, but in doing so, I'd fallen in love with it. It's not my #1, but it's special, and a very "me" coaster.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jarrett an Drew smile before Voltron's station, with a loop of black track and a tall Tesla Coil atop the Croatian building behind them.

Confession: I did not want this to be the last ride of the trip, so I took another. Drew, however, had decided he was not only done, but had to run to the restroom. I took the last ride solo, and I instantly saw what he was talking about. The spicy Indonesian bowl of noodles would have wrecked my stomach regardless, but being shaken, twisted, and thrown around like a toy on one of the world's most intense coasters turned my gut into a pop bottle of pressure! Without being TMI, as soon as the park closed, and we got pizza to take back to the zimmer, I basically speed walked across Rust to avoid a horrible and embarrassing accident! You thought Taco Bell was bad in America? Indonesian and Voltron is a million times worse!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A reflecting pool with water jets at the center of a Parisian-themed plaza, with a white geodesic sphere over it all.

If you read this far, especially after that last bit, thank you. Europa Park was kind of the final boss of this trip report, it's massive, it's a ton to cover in person as a guest, and as a content creator, it's even more, as the attractions here are all so elaborate and so detailed. It's an engineer's park, Mack is trying to show off and sell their creation, and show just how powerful an experience it can be. And as an MET that likes to travel around Europe, everything about this place felt very personal and I got it on a very deep level. This is good quality mechanical product presented in a way that's just as brainy and analytical, albeit in a different way, to dish out the most optimized experience out there, albeit one that's emotional and will live in your memories for life. And they put effort into making sure they had created the best possible way to do that, time and time again, through every single ride here.

New #2 park. Beautiful place with an amazing ride setting the power curve very steep, just a few more to go toe to toe with Voltron and this is my favorite park.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A train station has several Deutsch Bahn employees congregating around an elderly man holding a large horse plushie with a straight face.

UP NEXT: Let's have a peaceful journey home, right? Yeah, no. We had no reason to return to Europa Park and instead decided to have a nice, chill train journey back to Frankfurt. But when we had the lost souls of Frankfurt HBF, the world's most annoying child, and even the cops getting in our way, it was anything but! Hop on for a short but hilarious epilogue as we produce our IDs for German police and hope their crappy EES system says we're allowed to be there!